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25th May 2017

10 reasons you will NEVER be properly dressed for hot weather

Katie Mythen-Lynch

It’s hot! Oh no wait; it’s chilly again. But it’s getting warmer. And there’s a gale force wind coming.

Welcome to Ireland.

The erratic weather here makes it practically impossible to remain both stylish and comfortable at the same time during transitional months.

Our advice? Forget about it until mid-June. This is not going to be a sexy few weeks.

Here’s why:

1. Your summer clothes are in the attic and you need your dad to pop over and get them down.

2. Your floral dress requires Spanx to get the required effect. When it’s hot enough to wear the dress, it’s too hot for the necessary hefty support underwear.

3. On Sunday it was cloudy so you only fake-tanned the upper half of your body. In the nude you resemble a Double Decker. Your legs are blue and purple when it’s cold.

4. You bought your winter coat in March when it was snowing. The giant furry parka hood and cosy lining seems a bit extra now.

5. A light summer blouse is ideal for the office… until Susan in Accounts insists on setting the air con to ‘Baltic’.

6. You haven’t shaved your legs since Christmas.

7. Despite being born and raised in Ireland you are not in possession of a raincoat. Cue twice-weekly drenchings.

8. Your last 17 umbrellas blew inside out the second you put them up.

9. It’s too damn warm for black tights, yet too damn chilly for bare legs.

10. You’re in dire need of a pedicure and all your sandals are open-toed.