Groovy Chick was a groovy chick.
My sister's bedroom was littered with the duvet set, lampshade, window stickers, cushions, posters and rugs. It was an absolute disgrace, but my room was polluted with
Winnie The Pooh, so I can't really say much.
Groovy Chick was an icon. Few have made such an impression on young adolescents since her heyday in the 90s. Her striped crop top, pink flares, sunglasses and miniature handbag inspired a generation that frankly didn't need outfits more hideous than were already in circulation.
Two decades on, let's see what GC's been up to.
Me: Groovy Chick, it's fantastic to meet you. How are you?
GC: Ciara, absolute pleasure. I'm a huge fan of your work. That piece you wrote about
Rosie and Jim was sublime and harshly snubbed for a Nobel Prize this year.
Me: Stop, I know. Tell me, what's life been like since your time as an icon?
GC: Well, to be honest, I still consider myself an icon. It's been brilliant. Back in the 90s, I could hardly swing my minuscule handbag down the street without being harassed for autographs. Nowadays, things are a bit quieter and I actually welcome the quiet life. It all got a bit hectic.
Me: Oh, really? Care to elaborate?
GC: Well, after my Groovy Chick commitments finished up, I decide to milk my newfound fame for everything I possibly could. I did a bit of modelling with Elite Model Management. They couldn't get enough of me, I was the full package: Natural blonde hair, a killer body and an impeccable sense of style.
Me: That's so cool. Did you model for anyone we'd know?
GC: Hmm, ever heard of St Bernard? Yeah, I thought so. I also did a bit of work for Calvin Klein and Levi's, along with a TV ad for Coca-Cola. Yes, before you ask, I got loads of free coke.
Me: I have no doubt that you did. What came next? I heard you were approached to do some acting?
GC: Correct, I certainly was. My modelling agent recommended me to a casting director and I ended up getting a part in
The Mask, alongside Jim Carey. Not to toot my own horn, but that film ended up being one of the top ten highest-grossing films that year, and it's no coincidence that I just so happened to be in it.
Me: Definitely, it was all you! Carey was so forgettable in it. Any other acting work after that?
GC: Yeah, I've been in some pretty big films since then. My IMDB is chockablock with impressive movies like
Feeling Minnesota, Head Above Water, Killer Microwave Chips, and
Gangs of New York, to name a few.
Me: Woah, those are some pretty impressive movies to be in. If you don't mind me saying, you must have accumulated quite a bit of wealth between your Groovy Chick franchise and all of these acting roles?
GC: Correct, I'm dripping with cash. But I'm really grounded, I'm still just a very Groovy Chick, at heart, with $100m net worth.
Me: Clearly. Do you mind me asking if you've found love along the way?
GC: Oh I certainly have. I've taken a string of lovers in my past, but recently settled down to be married. He's a musician, also in the public eye and just a real sweetheart underneath it all, much like myself. We've been together a flawless 9 months and I couldn't be happier.
Me: Aw, Groovy Chick, that's wonderful to hear. Any plans to return to our screens in the near future?
GC: Please, call me Cameron. There's been some whispers about another Shrek movie next year, but I can't confirm whether I'll reprise my role as Princess Fiona just yet.
Me: Hang on, Princess Fiona is played by... are... are you.... GROOVY CHICK ARE YOU CAMERON DIAZ?
GC: Gotta go!
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