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22nd Mar 2024

‘I asked my husband to pay me for doing all the housework and now he’s angry’


husband and wife

A fed-up wife gave her husband a stark ultimatum when he complained about hiring a cleaner.

A woman who was sick of doing all of the housework by herself demanded that her husband start paying her for her services or pick up the slack himself, much to his frustration.

The predicament made its way onto Reddit, and has sparked over 1.6 thousand comments since it was posted one day ago.

The post reads: ‘I am a Steamfitter. But I’ve been at it for a while and I’m in supervision. With bonuses and incentives but not counting benefits I earn over $100 an hour.

“I also work out of town. I started doing that once the kids were old enough to take care of themselves with their dad at home. So when my youngest was in middle school and the oldest was a junior in high school.

She added: “It is great. Our retirement savings are piling up and we have been able to splurge on the kids. And ourselves.”

It all sounds like domestic tranquility so far doesn’t it? Just wait for the big reveal.

She continued: “My husband is upset however because I decided to pay for a cleaning lady. He and I discussed it and we agreed that him and the kids didn’t do a great job keeping the house clean and tidy while I was away. I hated coming home to a mess. It caused a few fights because it was like they expected me to come home and clean up after them.

“Having her is fantastic. I come home to a clean house and I am happier. My kids have more time to study and do extracurriculars. They still have chores and they are still expected to clean up after themselves.

“My husband came to me last time I was home and said we should cut back on the service when I’m home. That I should be doing more housework. He thinks that we are wasting money. I said that I work 14 days in a row and that those are 13 hour days. Yes it is mostly paperwork but his job as a teacher isn’t much more physically challenging. I said that I could offer him two options. If he wanted we could completely get rid of the service and him and the kids could make sure the house was in good shape when I got home. Or he could pay me my hourly rate to do extra housework when I am on my days off.

“He is upset with me and says that I’m being financially manipulative. I think if he and the kids actually did what they are supposed to do when I’m away none of this would be an issue.”

If this woman was hoping for reassurance by sharing this problematic situation with others on Reddit, that’s exactly what she got.

One user said that hiring a cleaner is the least problematic solution to the predicament: “So, you can afford it, everything gets done, everybody has free time, nobody has to do shit they don’t want to do, there aren’t any fights over it – I mean, there’s really no downside and everybody wins.

“Him getting upset because you said if the maid goes he’ll have to do his fair share is very telling. You’re not home to make the messes, but you’re supposed to work THAT much, and come clean up after him just because he wants to ‘save money’ while getting to sit on HIS ass?

“People like your husband always reinforce my decision to stay single.”

Another user twisted the knife in a little bit deeper on the husband. They wrote: “His pride is hurt that she makes more than him and so he isn’t the provider. Shiiiieeet if my so working means we can swing having a cleaner and more us time, let’s go!”

Others labelled the man a ‘misogynist’ and said he’s living in ‘fantasyland’.

“I think some men really have a blind spot when it comes to paying someone to do housework,” another user said.

“Maybe some women too, I don’t know, I’ve never been in a relationship with one, but I have had a similar discussion with my partner.

“Maybe it would help your husband if you showed him bit by bit what parts of the house you consider really nice and clean now thanks to the cleaner. And then remind him again that you don’t mind paying for it, you’re not asking for him to do it, just that he lets money you can both afford go towards this totally understandable ‘luxury’.”