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20th Aug 2023

‘My daughter wants to change her name – but I love her traditional name’

When we’re choosing a name for our children, it’s never a decision we take lightly.

There are always a lot of different factors; will it be cute on a baby? Will it be suitable for when they’re older? Does it have a family connection or meaning?

For this mum, it was no different when she welcomed her daughter but now, her 14-year-old has decided to change her name entirely.

There are lots of people who don’t like the name we’re given as children (I, for one, was always upset I wasn’t called Barbie), but by the time we’re teenagers – we learn to accept it.

One mum took to Reddit to explain that her daughter wants a new name and wants to be referred to as a more unusual moniker compared to the traditional one that was originally chosen for her.

Explaining how one girl at her daughter’s school has an extremely unusual name, she has now noticed her own child is now referring to herself as this.


She wrote: “She changed her socials so that this unique name is now her first name. I can’t even imagine what the classmates at school must think, let alone the girl herself. To me it comes off stalkerish and just plain weird.

“I told my daughter that I understand the desire to have a nickname, but she should choose something else. I told her that this name is unique to a classmate and is probably even a family name…and her classmate might believe she’s copying her or even making fun of her.

“My daughter got extremely upset with me. She says she likes this name and she ‘identifies’ with it, and I should be more supportive of ‘who she is’.”

The mum went on to say that the two have a very close relationship and she doesn’t want to fight with her over this – but she doesn’t know how to approach the situation.

One fellow mum offered: “I agree with you. This is not going to end well and chances are your daughter is going to get some backlash from her peers.

“But you have given her your advice. IMO this is one of those times you just have to let your kid make a mistake. Just be ready with lots of hugs and cuddles when the new name doesn’t work out. But NO “I told you so”.”

Another said: “I’m not sure you can realistically shut this down 100% if your daughter insists on being addressed by this name outside of your presence but I’d do what I can to explain why this isn’t ok and continue to encourage her to not adopt someone else’s name, fashion, habits etc in an attempt to be cool, popular, fit in, get attention.”