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27th May 2016

A snake pretty much bit off this guy’s penis when he was sitting on the toilet


Matt Tate

There’s no escapism from the stresses of daily life quite like a good sit-down on the toilet.

Some of the best thinking happens on the can, when you’re able to slow down and take stock. It can be a zen-like experience in the right situation.

However, one mind-blowingly unfortunate Thai man will never be able to enjoy a trip to the toilet again, after a giant python slithered up through the plumbing and sunk its teeth into his, well, guess.

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Attapom Boonmakchuay unsurprisingly lost a lot of blood when the 3m (10ft) snake grabbed hold of his penis and attempted to pull him into its new lair.

“I felt as though my penis had been severed,” he told the Bangkok Post. “The snake was yanking very hard.”

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It sounds like something from a horror movie, but it really happened. Attaporn had been squatting over the toilet in his Thailand home when the serpent rose from the water and clamped its jaws around his manhood.

He screamed out for his wife and the pair of them thrashed around the blood-spattered bathroom in panic as they tried to wrestle it off. They told Thai TV that they eventually managed to tie a piece of rope around its head and prise the poor bloke free, but only seconds before he would almost certainly have passed out.

Associated Press/YouTube

Attapom is now in a stable condition in hospital and doctors have reportedly said he’s making a good recovery – considering.

Associated Press/YouTube

As for the python – the plan is to release it back into the wild, but the male population of Thailand is surely collectively holding its breath that it hasn’t developed a liking for human dick.