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02nd Aug 2023

‘My sister asked me to step down as her maid of honour because I’m too distracting’

bride, maid of honour

A woman has taken to the internet to ask for advice after her sister asked her to step down as her maid of honour because she might “distract” other guests.

She explained that throughout their adulthood, her younger sister has tried to “change” the way she looked.

She even referred to her recently as “more of a biker than a bridesmaid” with her pink hair and demanded that she change it for the big day.

In her post on Reddit, the young woman said her sibling no longer wanted her to be her maid of honour if she wouldn’t change her appearance beforehand.

Explaining how it all began, she revealed that they have had a strained relationship, but that things were getting better.

“She asked me to be her maid of honour which shocked me because I didn’t ask her to be mine,” she began.

“I thought we were finally starting to be close as sisters, but she started treating me like sh*t again. She wanted me to change my hair completely (my hair is pink and all textured), then she wanted me to cover up the two tattoos I have (one of which represents my kids) and told me I looked like a biker and not a bridesmaid.

“When we went dress shopping she’d always have something negative to say about the dresses they had me try while she was crazy about her friends dresses.”

Eventually, her sister said it would be best if she stood down as maid of honour because she would be “too distracting”.

“After a few months she told me she felt like I would be too distracting on her wedding day and would I mind being a regular guest and not a bridesmaid.”

This made her come to the conclusion that she would not attend the wedding at all because she felt so hurt by what had been said.

“Something clicked for me then and I told her not to worry about me being a distraction because not only would I step down as her maid of honour, but I will keep myself away from her wedding and do her the kindness of not being there when she’s clearly still embarrassed of me like she was as a kid.”

The reaction to this was to be expected.

“She freaked out and said she never said she didn’t want me there. She told me I’m her sister and I should be there.

“My parents were SO disappointed when they learned what happened but said they understood my decision and it was probably for the best overall.

“My sister’s fiance accused me of holding the past against her and overreacting to what she wants for her wedding day and I should do better. My sister cried down the phone to me asking why I’m being mean to her.”

People were quick to leave their opinions on the situation in the comments, with one woman responding: “If she cannot be respectful to you, she shouldn’t expect you to want to spend time with her.”

Another said: “She asked you to be her maid of honour, knowing how you look, as in that you have textured pink hair and tattoos, and then insulted you for the way you look. That’s ridiculous and rude.

“She has closed the door by being selfish and cruel, you are setting a health line that states that you won’t tolerate being treated poorly.”

A third Reddit user then added: “Your personal appearance is your choice and no one including a Bride has the right to dictate to you what your hair should like etc anyway.”