Would you turn down a holiday invite from your boyfriend’s family?
Most people who get on with their other half’s family would say yes but what if you didn’t?
For one woman in this exact situation, she decided she would rather not force herself into an uncomfortable scenario – but her boyfriend isn’t happy.
Taking to Reddit to vent her frustrations, she wrote “My boyfriend Dan and I have been together for about a year. We live in a big city while Dan is from the country so he doesn’t see his family that often. However, I have met them several times, and they don’t like me.
“That’s fine, I’m not overly keen on them either. We just have nothing in common. I can see them cringing when I talk and they make snide comments about me wanting to stay in a hotel if I visit with Dan. I want to be clear, I don’t have any problem with this.
“We are all civil and can have a pleasant time over a weekend or whatever, and it is fine that I’m not their ideal in law, they’re not mine either. But the facts are the facts.”
Yet things took a turn when Dan told her sister and mother-in-law wanted to invite her on a girl’s trip while they were at dinner with a friend.
She explained that she told her boyfriend she wouldn’t go on the trip but would be polite when turning them down.
Continuing her story, the Redditor wrote, “My friend asked why I wouldn’t go and I said because Dan’s family doesn’t like me and I’m not going to ruin their weekend and mine by going on the trip.
“Dan baulked at this and asked why I would say something like that. I said because it’s true. Dan didn’t deny this, just said that was a crass thing to say and they invited me so I should go. I said absolutely not.
“Dan dropped the idea of me going but is still saying that I shouldn’t have been so blunt in saying they don’t like me, that it was an inappropriate thing to say and paints them in a bad light. I don’t think it does at all.
“It’s not a crime to not like people, and you don’t choose your in-laws, what are the odds you actually like them? We’re all civil and that’s what counts.”
Of course, when you write something on Reddit people will offer their opinions whether you want them or not, but it seemed most people were on her side.
“You’re not wrong. You each have a different style of communication. You didn’t say anything wrong. You did not insult his family, and you just shared your feelings on the situation,” commented one.
Another agreed, commenting, “I wish I had your confidence. I spent two decades being disliked by my in-laws and bending the knee to try and get them to like me. All it did was hurt my self-esteem.”
A third added, “Everyone can say you’re rude for not ruining everyone’s weekend, but no one is saying you’re wrong. Maintain your boundaries.”
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