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22nd Aug 2022

6 things Paul Mescal and Phoebe Bridgers will inevitably do when they move to west Cork

Sarah McKenna Barry

Emotional motion sickness? Babe, just wait till you visit Mizen Head.

Last week, it was reported that Irish actor Paul Mescal and American singer Phoebe Bridgers went sale agreed on a house in the stunning town of Schull in west Cork, and honestly, chuffed for them.

Having spent many a childhood summer in Schull, I am more than happy to advise Paul and Phoebe on how they can best fill their days in the Rebel County.

1. Learn to master the ‘one-finger’ wave while navigating Irish country roads

Adapting to local customs and regional communication skills is absolutely vital to integrating into a new community, so Phoebe in particular will want to get her one-finger wave down to an absolute tea if she fancies a drive around the area.

2. Get matching Dryrobes

Barleycove will be Paul and Phoebe’s local beach, and listen, it’s absolutely stunning. While there may be no better place for a dip on a summer’s day, the freezing cold Irish Sea comes as a bit of a shock to even seasoned wild swimmers, so it’d be within Paul and Phoebe’s interests to figure out how they plan on getting warm once they emerge. And hey, if Dryrobes aren’t their thing, they can warm up just as quickly with some tea or hot choc in a thermal.

3. Enjoy the approximately two (2) days of Irish summer

There’s nothing quite like summer in Ireland. Easily the best 48 hours of any given year. Summer heat in Ireland may be fleeting, so Phaul (yes, that’s what we’re calling them now) will want to be prepared to leave their house with enough time to get down to the beach, slap on some factor 50, soak up that brief window of sunshine, and get some good drying in when they get back home.

4. Get Emotional Motion Sickness while visiting Mizen Head

As Schull residents, Phaul will be a mere stone’s throw away from Ireland’s most south-westerly point, but they should know it’s not for the faint-hearted. I mean, if Phoebe gets emotional motion sickness from tricky relationships, we can only imagine the scenes when she crosses the iconic Mizen foot bridge.

5. Visit the best-of the surrounding counties

Who says Phaul have to remain within the county of Cork? Nah, they need to enjoy the best of the south. We want them to explore Fungi’s legacy in neighbouring Kerry, make cameos at the matchmaking festival in Lisdoonvarna and visit the architectural gem that is Limerick Junction train station.

6. Sponsor a local basketball team and go to war with Emrata

Last year, we learned that supermodel sensation Emily Ratajkowski is the sponsor of the Bantry Boys Basketball under 16s team, and frankly, we need a level playing field in local Corkonian sports. If Paul and Phoebe could pick a random local basketball club to get behind, it would be huge for the community.