Public transport would be great if nobody else used it.
One of life’s biggest struggles is having to co-exist with other people. People are the absolute worst and it takes a large amount of patience and tolerance to deal with them. They do things like breathe, sit down, eat and cough. MONSTERS.
On the back of London Tube’s new badges, Dublin Bus is planning to bring out their own version. This is entirely real and not something I have made up. Ok fine, I made them up. But IMAGINE.
Due to a lack of common courtesy among people, some may feel that it’s entirely fine to brush up against fellow bus passengers. This will swiftly remind them that it absolutely isn’t.
When you’ve been on the jars and need a sit down but don’t want to have to ask, this badge will save your life. Passengers will fight over who gets to selflessly provide you with their seat.
When passengers are eyeing up the seat beside you but you don’t fancy moving over, this badge will notify them that you are on the verge of infecting the entire bus with something gross. Probably your personality, LOL.
In the likely event that your seat buddy gets a notion that you might want to discuss the intricacies of the Irish weather, this will quickly eliminate that idea.
This will shed light on the reason why you’re staring intently at your phone and heavily sighing from time to time. Level 75, what the f**k are you trying to do to me?
This will address passengers’ concerns while you’re smirking to yourself and typing enthusiastically on your phone like a lunatic.
This will hopefully be spotted by the perpetrator and hopefully magically rid them of their ailment. Alternatively, they might just put a hand over their mouth while coughing.
On every bus journey there is a phantom farter. They will never own up, but this badge immediately eliminates you from the list of suspects.
This little white lie will deter fellow passengers from wanting to sit near you, allowing you enough space to sprawl out and have a very comfortable journey.
This prototype would allow you to quickly identify which fellow bus passengers are decent human beings who care about womens’ rights over their own bodies.
