How can an orange peel help test your relationship?
Unsurprisingly, this trend is about more than just citrus fruits, it’s about how doing the little things can affect your relationship.
The theory isn’t a new one though. It actually comes from relationship therapist, Dr John Gottman, and is an example of something called “bids”.
A bid is “a request from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection.”
According to Dr Gottman, women are more likely to make bids than men, as they seek reassurance that their other half cares enough to undertake little tasks for them.
Men sometimes can struggle to understand the impact that these gestures can have though in the healthiest relationships, both partners should be comfortable making bids.
Let’s go back to the orange though for a second, according to Amber Brooks, a relationship expert and editor-in-chief of DatingAdvice.com, the answer all lies in your partner’s reaction.
Are they happy to help you, no questions asked or do they become standoffish, asking why you can’t do it yourself?
“These questions matter beyond the small task of peeling an orange, and it’s good for couples to think along these lines if they are serious about making a commitment and building a life together,” Amber explains.
“If your partner gets defensive and argumentative over an orange, it might be a sign that something bigger is going on.”
If your partner refuses to peel the orange the relationship expert recommends asking them why and having further conversations about how to approach situations when one of you has a need and the other has to help.
“Having an honest dialogue about the ways you feel supported and loved can help create a roadmap for future success,” she says.
“That way, you’ll both feel better prepared next time you need to ask your partner for help.”
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