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14th Feb 2020

Forget about love, here’s some of Her’s Valentine’s Day horror stories

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Or, rather – Happy Day For People Who Are In Happy Relationships And Nobody Else.

Although February 14 is technically supposed to be reserved only for delightful, loving, not-at-all-forced events with a significant other, a lot of the time bad things happen on V-Day.

Very bad things that are so chronic, so embarrassing, so abysmal that it would only make sense for a whole host of individuals who work in to share their stories for the day that’s in it – all for the purpose of content.

All submissions have been kept anonymous for the sake of protecting individuals’ identities – and their dignity.

A poor compromise 

My boyfriend at the time had to cancel our Valentine’s plans last minute because his grandad died. He then tried to make it up to me by giving me a “homemade card” ie; an A4 sheet of paper that said: “Your boobs are class.”

We didn’t last much longer after that.

A kind soul 

When I was in primary school I had a VERY serious boyfriend who I never spoke to. On Valentine’s Day he gave me a gold brooch in a fancy box. I was floored by how thoughtful it was.

I then went down to my local Dunnes Stores where they were selling the gold brooches outside the shop in aid of charity for a pound.

At least he was supporting charity.

A genuine monster 

When I surprised my boyfriend with a trip to Paris, he broke up with me over there, then we missed our flight home because of a crash on the motorway, and we spent 23 more silent hours together.

An unfortunate event

I was planning to break up with my boyfriend the week after Valentine’s Day. For V-Day he got me a specialised card that had a little video in it featuring all pics of us and at the end it said: “Here’s to making many more memories.”

Safe to say it was v awks when things ended five days later.

A very bad day 

When I was 16 I spent Valentine’s Day third wheeling for my best friend because her and her fella at the time didn’t like to be alone with each other.

They literally turned up at my door unannounced and no matter how many times I was like “oh I have to do this” or “I really need to walk my dogs” they never took the hint that I wanted them to leave.

I ended up walking around my hometown with these two following me everywhere and making out with each other every 20 minutes. I’ve never wanted to die so much in my life.

He eventually caught the bus home and I was able to go home and cry into my pillow about being single on Valentine’s Day.

An unwelcome discovery 

I had been seeing this guy for about two months when Valentine’s Day came around.

He invited me over to his house because his parents were away so we could have a few drinks, etc. Fast forward a few hours later and I’m fully nude on the sitting room couch, mid-act.

Suddenly, car headlights light up the room and we hear the key turn in the lock. There’s nowhere to run. They come in. I am caught.

We never went back to his gaff after that.