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05th Jan 2019

The three questions you should ask before ending a relationship

It’s not always black and white.

Love, and relationships are complicated.

Building a life with someone and trusting them isn’t always easy, but when you have the good times and form a bond, being part of a couple can be really great.

However, if things are going downhill rapidly, when do you know to call time on your relationship?

According to couple therapist Linda Carroll, who spoke to Mind Body Green about the subject, there are three questions to ask before ending any relationship:

Have I looked at the bigger picture?

Carroll recommends looking at the problems you believe are causing concern in your relationship. If they’re small, manageable problems that don’t affect your long-term plans or goals, write a list of solutions that you can work on together for a happier solution.


Have I shared my feelings with my partner without blaming or shaming?

It’s easy to be annoyed or angry at a partner, but have you shared your upset without laying blame at their door? Carroll says that a lot of us skip this step, only letting our partner know how serious things are by announcing that the relationship are over.

Have I made the same effort as my other half in solving the problem?

While we might tell someone that they need to improve on their effort or relationship skills, Carroll points out that any relationship requires two people to make efforts in maintaining its healthy balance.

10. He becomes secretive with his technology: He used to leave his phone randomly lying around the place in full view of you, now he’s taking it with him everywhere and suddenly hanging up on phone calls when you walk into the room. If he’s doing this you need to ask him just who he’s been talking to.

If you both want a relationship to work, sit down and agree on the actions you’ll both take to make amends.

Carroll adds that it’s important to remember the biggest issue in any relationship is communication problems, so open up, have a talk and be honest.

While not all relationships are salvageable, knowing what’s important and when to draw the line shouldn’t be a rash decision (or you could regret that talk).