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06th Oct 2018

Is the the ‘opposites attract’ rule actually true?


Do you agree?

It’s an age-old saying, that opposites attract, but is there any truth behind it?

In one way, it makes sense, it’s important to have differences in the relationship, to have discussions on topics you look a differently and to learn from your partners opposite interesting so that you don’t get bored. But in another sense, it is very important to have some things in common or else you might get a bit fed up at not having hobbies together or arguing about your different views.

Relationships work for a multitude of different reasons and it really all depends on the individual couple, but this saying seems to be sticking around, prompting researchers to look into whether it’s true or not.

The study by the University of Kansas analysed real couples and asked them about things like values, personality traits and attitudes. The study also looked at friendships as well as romantic relationships.

It found that those who were closer and more intimate pairs shared similarities on almost every personal issue that was measured.

The evidence also indicated that future friends or partners are not likely to change over time due to the relationship and that the similarities were already there before the connection was established, which is probably why you were well suited from the beginning.

The study found that whether a relationship develops could depend on the level of similarity the two individuals share from the beginning of their meeting.

“You try to create a social world where you’re comfortable, where you succeed, where you have people you can trust and with whom you can cooperate to meet your goals,” Crandall said. “To create this, similarity is very useful, and people are attracted to it most of the time.” Assistant proffesor Angela Bahns said.

So it seems that the ‘opposites attract’ is pretty unfounded.

“People are more similar than chance on almost everything we measure, and they are especially similar on the things that matter most to them personally,” Bahns added.

So while you may have different likes or hobbies, according to this study, having the same the fundamental values is the key to a long lasting relationship.