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14th Feb 2022

Single positivity: the empowering movement that’s taking over

Katy Brennan

F**k your fairytales.

Valentine’s Day is here but this year, more and more people are saying goodbye to the pressures of finding ‘the one’.

It’s drilled into our heads from a young age through Disney movies and TV shows that meeting the perfect partner is the most important thing in life. If we find our Prince Charming, we will be fulfilled.

But, obviously, true love is not the only path to happiness. Luckily, we are realising our happy-ever-after doesn’t have to involve someone else. Being single has gotten a rebrand.

As Carrie Bradshaw once said, “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

And yes, Carrie may have spent almost all of Sex And The City drifting through different relationships – but hey, she learned her lesson in the end, right?

This movement is called single positivity and it’s pretty much how it sounds – rejecting traditional notions, embracing self-love, and becoming your own partner. It focuses on what you gain from being single rather than what you’re apparently missing.

The idea has been gaining a lot of attraction in recent times, and it’s no surprise considering the amount of women who have been speaking out about embracing it.

Actress Emma Watson previously opened up about feeling a huge amount of pressure as she headed into her 30s as a single woman.

“There is suddenly this bloody influx of subliminal messaging around,” she told British Vogue.

“If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out…”

“There’s just this incredible amount of anxiety.

“I never believed the whole ‘I’m happy single’ spiel. It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.”

Sure, being in a relationship has its benefits but so does being single – and we should celebrate them.

So what exactly are these benefits? And what does embracing single positivity look like?

Her asked three women to share what single positivity means to them.

“The whole norm around relationships is finding a certain person to develop a connection with. It’s always about somebody else,” says Nicole, 25.

“But being single I’ve finally found the most valuable relationship I’ve ever had – and that’s the one I have with myself.

“Sometimes I get dressed up and take myself on a date – yes, you can do that! Some people might think that’s weird but it’s really not.”

“It’s actually great for personal growth,” says 28-year-old Sara. “Like, I’ve been in relationships for my most formative years. It’s just nice to be able to figure yourself out, you know?”

“I would say, yes, it is empowering to be single and be able to focus on loving yourself,” says Rachel, 27. “There’s obviously good things about being in a relationship but I think particularly in your 20s and stuff, you’re developing as a person finding out who you are and there’s no rush to be in a serious relationship, even if that’s what’s normal.

“[Being single] is a time to learn about yourself because then you’ll know exactly what you want when or if you do decide to get into a relationship.”

You heard it here, why not ditch the stereotypes and bring yourself on a date this Valentines Day?