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26th Nov 2016

One Cork man has spoken about the suicide note his mum left

Suicide is a growing problem in Ireland today...

He spoke out to help others who may be suffering and doubting their existence.

One brave Mallow man has talked about his mother’s suicide to discuss what she wrote in her final letter and how to prove that suicide is never the last option.

Oisín Ó Cionáith wrote in a Facebook post how devastating it was to grow up without his mum and talked about how he felt, finally receiving his mother’s last words to him.

“Suicides are rampant in Ireland recently… especially with our youth…. We ask ourselves questions… “Why would do they do this?”, “Who was bullying them?” ” What if I had talked to them that day?”, “What was going through they’re head?”….

“Unfortunately, we will never fully understand the last thoughts of our loved ones, only that they were in pain.

“I’ve tortured myself with these questions for years as I’ve lost many loved ones through suicide… Friends, family and acquaintances alike…. including my Mam….”

Oisín told of how young he was and how he had to go through the routine stages of adolescence without his mum.

“Now I was young when I lost my Mam, and I had to grow up with out her… She wasn’t there for my First Communion, Conformation, Birthdays, Christmas, First day of secondary school, to see me get my junior cert results, to see me get my first job, getting parts in musicals, go on holidays, and even have stupid fights with her….

“These are all things that so many people take for granted… and yet I grew up missing out, being bitter and jealous, all because of a moment of madness…. My whole life I never had any answers. Until recently…”

He confessed to waiting a long time for the chance to read this letter and revealed some of the things she wrote to him.

“A few days ago, I received a suicide letter that my Mam had wrote for me…. I’ve waited a long time for this, wondering if it will tell me why she did what she did… and truth is… it didn’t.. well not directly…. Now I’m not going to share the whole thing with every body as it’s very personal to me… but I will show ye a few quotes from what she wrote, in the hope that it might spread some light on those dark thoughts of loved ones left behind

By now I’m probably a distant memory”

“I’m sure you feel a lot of bitterness towards me for going and leaving you the way I did”

“I don’t want you think I did what I did because of you, If anything I did what I did to help you because Mr. Magoo, I wasn’t much good to anyone”

“Now, my mother was one of the best mothers in the world… I had everything I wanted, I was spoiled, I was comfortable, and I was loved so so much… as she tells me so much in the letter, and all the memory’s I have of her. My mother was loved by everyone and had so much support if she needed it…. but the thing is…. she got ill… and no one suspected a thing .”

Oisín went to bravely speak about how he disagrees with the things she wrote, showing that people who die by suicide are still missed and loved, even to this day.

“My mother is NOT a distant memory! I am NOT bitter towards my mother! And she was NOT “no good to anyone”! You see, it’s something so silent that creeps into your mind and before you know it, you’ve been taken over by this horrible darkness…. But with darkness, you’ll always find light… you just have to look hard enough!

I wish that my Mam had just spoken to someone, but I can never change that… but maybe I could change someone else’s life? I hope that someone who is going through a bad time and is just being consumed by darkness will come across this post and read, I hope that this can be someone’s light.”

Oisín spoke of his love for his mother and then went on to plead with anyone looking for help with depression to seek it out.

“Mam, I speak directly to you now… you are loved, you are missed, and you are the biggest memory in my heart, and in so many others. So I’m going to pass on what you gave me, in the hope that it will console others, because not everyone is as lucky to have a letter left to them, a connection I’ll have with you for ever! I love you always xx

So, I hope this has opened up your minds and helped you understand a bit better… even if this only helps one person… I’ll be happy”