To mark World Autism Day, one Irish mother has shared this personal post outlining her experience of the developmental disorder through life with her two wonderful sons.
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“Today is Autism Awareness Day and as most of you know our two sons both have Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD as it’s also known. This has been a long and at times very difficult journey for us as a family, as a couple and as individuals.
“When Autism was first mentioned to us, we were scared to death. We worried about our little boy and what lay ahead in life for him. Suddenly we were in a world of doctor visits, physio appointments, OT appointments, Speech Therapy appointments and one assessment after another. There were plenty of tears and some dark days. But we got through it, taking each day as it came.
“In the early days the hardest part was often the responses from other people. When we would tell them our son was going through assessment for Autism they’d say “There’s nothing wrong with that child, sure isn’t he great there playing away on his own, quiet as a mouse”. You almost felt you were making it up, making it worse than it was. And it creates guilt in you for believing that something might be wrong. People said to me “He doesn’t look Autistic”, as if a child with Autism looked a certain way. And I was even told “he’d grow out of it”, which six years later he definitely hasn’t.
“It wasn’t long before the same questions were raised in connection with our other boy. And so began all the assessments again. Our boys are like chalk and cheese: one calm and placid the other full of energy and boisterous. Yet they each have their own individual struggles. Autism is a spectrum disorder with the characteristics or traits often varying greatly from end to end. And no two children are exactly the same.
“The things you take for granted in your daily life are often the most challenging parts of our day. Rigid routines, irrational fears, terrible meltdowns and restricted diets are the norm for us. It’s very hard to make a dinner for five people when two of them eat nothing with colour, or with a wet texture or with ‘bits’ in it. That pretty much cuts out most things. They would happily live on pasta and bread if we let them!
“I could write all day about the tears from my kids when they didn’t get invited to classmates’ parties or when another kid told them they were acting or speaking weird, listening to my son cry about being bullied in school, or going to endless meetings with the school to have his voice heard. Or the feeling you get when you notice strangers in a shop looking at your son as he jumps up and down flapping his arms in excitement. I could explain all the little details about their fears of water, of labels and seams on clothes, of lights and sun, different foods touching each other on a plate, their needs for rules and their inability to change them. But, hard as these things are, they’re only a small part of our sons. They are bright, beautiful, articulate children. They are creative and funny and charming. They melt our hearts a million times a day with their smiles.
“If you are a parent PLEASE talk to your kids about Autism. Teach them understanding of children who are different. There is a good chance that there is a child in your child’s school or classrooms with Autism. Believe me: exclusion and bullying do more damage to the child’s self-esteem and self worth than the Autism ever did.
“We as a family can deal with all that comes with Autism at home. Of course there are still parts of it that we find very difficult. But one of toughest parts is the bullying that our sons endured. The damage it caused to their self-esteem is immeasurable. They have been punished with name-calling, taunts and exclusion just for being different. If we can teach our children to be accepting of ALL children, regardless of their differences then maybe children like our sons would feel a little more accepted.
“My boys have Autism. They are different, but they are not less.”
To learn more about Autism, please visit www.autismireland.ie
