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16th Aug 2023

Could you be in a ‘Delusionship’? Tiktok’s viral dating term explained

Full disclosure: I was definitely in a few of these in my younger years and just didn’t have a name for it.

With the rise of TikTok comes the naming of various dating situations we have all been guilty of at some point in our lives, if we’re really being honest.

The nicknaming of our dating habits means we can understand and get access to advice in a nano-second on the platform, which, to be fair, is a big plus.

The newest dating moniker is one we surely have all experienced, especially in our teenage eras: Delusionship.

Now, remember, there is absolutely no judgement if you happen to find yourself resonating with this now viral term.

It’s a minefield out there in the dating world and coining these dating expressions is all about spreading awareness and educating ourselves.

This refers to a person who finds themselves fantasising about a person a lot, despite not actually being together.

Maybe you just starting texting/Snapchatting/DM’ing, etc., and you are already imagining meeting them at the top of the aisle and tying the knot.

If you find yourself envisioning a future together without actually getting a commitment from this person, you, my friend, could be in a Delusionship.

Now, it’s just harmless daydreaming unless the daydreams are holding you from actually finding the one.

Of course, celeb Delusionship’s are allowed, as long as you’re not passing stalker lines, obviously.

I mean, there are times when I find myself relapsing back into my Delusionship with Milo Ventimiglia.

But, I think with celebs, we all know on a deep-rooted level that it just ain’t ever going to happen, so it’s easier to snap out of.

However, if you are turning down advances or deleting your Tinder and Bumble accounts for the idea of a person who has reacted to your Insta story a few times, then it’s time to reflect and consider facing the reality.

Glamour quoted Bumble’s dating coach, Dr. Caroline West, defining the dating term as: “The infatuation that you have for someone you don’t have an established relationship with—someone you see on the train every morning, or someone you have matched with on a dating app but haven’t met up with yet.

Sound familiar? Do not panic because if you are in a full-fledged Delusionship, you’re not alone.

TikTok has seen thousands upon thousands coming out of the woodwork to discuss this dating phrase, with one user receiving upwards of 200,000 likes about her own Delusionship.

The caption on @mainlyemma’s viral video reads: “You were never mine (you actually were never mine, I was just delusional and thought you were secretly in love with me).”

@mainlyemma started crying when you were flirting with another girl at a party cuz i thought it’d be me? #taylorswift #delusional #delusionship #crushing #imstupid #august #augusttaylorswift ♬ august. taylor swift – luma ?

Many took to the comments to share in the relatability.

“I didnt wake up today to get hit the feels like that,” one wrote.

Another said, “don’t describe me like this bro.”

While others commented “LOUD SCREAMING REPOST” or “Silent repost” depending on their feelings towards being called out.

Turns out, we’re all a bit delulu.

Now to be a Debbie Downer for a quick sec: There can be harmful potential outcomes to being in a Delusionship.

Getting carried away or making a crush uncomfortable is not the route any of us want to go down.

At the end of the day, the majority of us just want love and partnership (if you don’t, more power to you), but you’re putting yourself in a bit of a freeze frame if you wait it out for someone who hasn’t reciprocated your feelings.

You have to at least try to see if it could be a real thing, and, if not, you’ll know for sure and can move on.

Plus, another concern is that they won’t meet the expectations you’ve build up in your mind, so preparing yourself is key, according to Dr. West.

She also recommends backing yourself and the value you could bring into a romantic relationship.

So, the take home message: being a little delulu is okay, and even encouraged, but don’t let it get out of hand.

May the odds be ever in your favour.