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04th Dec 2018

#AgonyCant I think I might have an STI and I’m freaking out

Jade Hayden

have an sti

agony can't

“I was having casual sex with this guy for a while. 

“I’m pretty sure we used condoms every single time we slept together, so I know I probably don’t have anything to worry about BUT he messaged me recently and said that he has chlamydia. 

“We haven’t had sex in a long time, thank god, but the message shook me quite a bit and now I’m freaking out. I’ve also slept with a few people since your man and the actual thought of having to text them and tell them they might have an STI is killing me. 

“Essentially, I don’t know how to reply to his message and it’s mildly ruining my life.”

Alright yeah, get tested immediately.

Even if you do think that you definitely did maybe use a condom every time you slept together, that definitely did maybe isn’t a positive.

… And even if it was, condoms can massively reduce you chances of catching an STI, but they aren’t a source of complete protection. The only thing that guarantees that is abstinence from vaginal, anal, and oral sex. 

So honestly, you’d want to get yourself checked out.

Chlamydia doesn’t have symptoms half of the time in men, and even more of the time in women. So essentially, 70 percent of gals who get the STI might not have any clue that they do.

Yet another reason to be absolutely delighted that you were born with a vagina, right?

If you do happen to be one of the lucky (?) ones who gets recognisable symptoms from chlamydia, you might experience some pain during sex, pain in your rectum, a burning sensation when you pee, or an unusual vaginal discharge.

And to be honest, yeah, any of those things should be enough to send you to the doctor anyway.

If you’ve never been a sexual health test before and you’re not exactly sure what to expect, don’t worry because they’re fairly simple scenarios, won’t take a huge chunk of time out of your day, and literally aren’t scary at all.

Here’s what generally happens:

You’ll meet the doctor or nurse and they’ll ask you some questions about the last time you had sex and what kind of sex it was (ie, vaginal, anal, or oral).

Once that’s done, they’ll start the physical exam, first checking the skin around your vagina for any rashes or irregular lumps.

A swab will then be used to collect samples from the vagina, anus, or throat. A speculum may also be used to conduct a smear test, but if you’re under the age of 25 this might not happen.

In some circumstances, a blood test will be carried out and a sample of urine will be taken – this won’t happen in all circumstances though so it really just depends.

And that’s pretty much it. Wait a few weeks for your results to come back, and be (hopefully) delighted when you discovered that you don’t have chlamydia.


If you don’t get the result you’re hoping for though, don’t panic. You’ll get yourself treated, and all will be OK. STIs aren’t the end of the world.

You will need to do the seemingly unbearable though and contact anyone you’ve slept with since that guy. It might be embarrassing and you might not want to do it, but you have to. Be sound.

Regarding the whole replying to his message sitch, you can just leave it if you want to.

It was absolutely correct of him to contact you and let you know, because that it what you simply must do when you discover that you’ve got an STI to not be a prick.

But realistically, if you’ve already left it an extended period of time to reply, it’s hardly worth your time sliding in there and dropping a ‘Cool bro, thanks for telling me!x’ at this stage.

He did what he came to do, and now you need to do your bit.

Get tested. Please.

You can find a list of free STI clinics around the country here. 

Worried about going on a first date with someone new? Got some lad onto you who won’t take the hint? Are you being ghosted, breadcrumbed, or some other new form of dating trend? Just need somewhere to vent about everything that’s wrong with your love life? Same, to be honest.

Don’t worry though because at Her we’ve been there, we are still there, and we can maybe even give you some decent advice. At the end of the day, #ShiftHappens to all of us. 

Send all questions here or email [email protected]. All submissions will be published anonymously.