It’s difficult to explain this type of suffering.
You know that you have your health, and that you are not in any real danger. You know that with medical attention and proper care you can be kept comfortable, even if it means a spell, or ten, in hospital. You understand that there are millions of people the world over in real suffering, torn apart by war, disease and chronic illness. You know that you have successfully reached the 12 week mark, and you have the little print out of what they tell you is your baby, (even if it looks like a mis-shapen bachelors bean). You know that you won’t feel like this forever, and the nurses have hinted that your baby may actually be all the better for your sorry state. But the suffering we go through if we are unlucky enough to experience a condition known as Hyperemesis is truly dreadful.
The books say that there is not often a good diagnosis between common morning sickness and hyperemesis. Well I’ll tell you, or at least I’ll try. If you are experiencing nausea and vomiting you are suffering from morning sickness, which, by the way should be called anytime all-day sickness. If on the other hand, you are spending ALL of your time between the bed and the toilet bowl, if you haven’t been able to eat or drink ANYTHING without medical intervention, if you’re so dehydrated that your eyes dry up and your skin feels like sandpaper, if the hunger you feel as a result of the constant vomiting makes you even sicker, and the fatigue exacerbates the problem, then you are probably in the estimated 2% of women who develop Hyperemesis Gravidarum.
“You’ll forget it all”. That’s what they say about the symptoms. They say it about the labour and delivery too. This time last year I was in a bad way, and not that I needed reminding (I haven’t “forgotten it all” just yet), I now have a friend who is in the same boat, only worse.
I had morning sickness for 10 weeks. It didn’t help that we were away and travelling aroung Malaysia from weeks 7 until 10. The smells and the intense heat and humidy were a struggle, but I could cope. At 11 weeks, I travelled abroad for work, and contracted Shingles. To cut a long story short, the shingles effectively induced Hyperemesis, so instead of begining to feel better at 12 weeks, I got worse, and very quickly.
Hyperemesis gravidarum is from the Greek word, meaning excessive, and emesis, meaning vomiting, as well as the Latin gravida, meaning pregnant. Therefore, hyperemesis gravidarum means “excessive vomiting in pregnancy.” My friend has only just reached the 13 week mark, and she has had 7 stays in hospital so far. She is struggling to lift her head off the pillow most days, and hasn’t been able to work. I suspect her ‘secret’ during the early weeks wasn’t a secret for long. How can you disappear from your life without raising red flags, or baby blue and pink flags? At this stage, she is being hospitalised for rehydration and anti nausea injections almost on a weekly basis. She can’t keep anything down, even water, which ironically is making her worse. She is so happy and excited about the journey she is about to take with her husband, but she can’t enjoy it, much as she tries.
I can’t offer any words of wisdom to those who are unlucky enough to feel like my friend. Yes it will all be worth it, but that is no use to you right now. You need hugs, and lots of them. Keep your scan picture beside your bed, rest when you can, don’t a be a martyr because noone will thank you! I hope the mums and mums to be who never dealt with the condition, now understand it a little bit more. It’s amazing how much a text, even if its just a smiley face, can lift the hearts of the toilet bowl brigade. I’m thinking of you Emma, and I’m sending you my left over anti-nausea tablets by Swiftpost as we speak!
