How to do the school run like a royal, according to an etiquette expert

Would you be arsed?

There are a lot of things involved in a day to day routine. We all get up out of bed at some stage, some of have kids to bring to school. We go to work, we come home and we do it all again tomorrow. Naturally, there are other things we do, like reading, exercise and all those fun things. Well, if you are looking for a new hobby, why not practice your royal etiquette? Etiquette expert William Hanson recently spoke to the Daily Mail about on how to look royal while on the school run. I read it (obviously) and laughed at the thought of it. Would you honestly be arsed? Intrigued? Well here are some of William's main points for emulating Kate Middleton at the school gates. And while the article was written specifically for the school run, these rules are actually relevant for any time you are outdoors.

No wet hair.

Apparently, it isn't very lady like to have damp, just-washed hair in public. Well, not all of us have the luxury of a cheeky curly blow dry before 9am.

Arrive on time.

"If school starts at 8.30am then the children should be frolicking in the playground by 8.20am at the latest."

The EFFORT of that though.

Wear heels.

How about no? I can just about get shoes on my feet in the morning, so if you think I'm opting for a stiletto, think again.

No coffee cups hun.

To be honest, I find this one to be particularly rude. The rules of etiquette suggest that you must only drink coffee and tea out of an actual cup. Well, Starbucks would go out of business if I did that.

Wear tights.

Oh yes, even in the barbaric heat!

Don't fu*king swear.

So I know it kind of goes without saying, but swearing is an absolute no no. I can only imagine this would be difficult, when you're surrounded by hoards of children. Suddenly, not being royalty seems pleasant. Myself and my paper-cupped latte will be here, swearing, if you need us.