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05th Jun 2019

7 things your mate who doesn’t watch Love Island won’t stop going on about

Jade Hayden

Make sure you like and subscribe to our Love Island show, coming to you every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Episode two is out now! 

We’ve all got that one mate.

The one who won’t watch Love Island. The one who refuses to even entertain the idea.

The one who is oddly smug about the fact that they are opting to miss out on the biggest pop culture event of the summer?

It’s fine to not watch Love Island. That’s your prerogative. That’s your choice.

But do you really need to keep going on about it every five minutes?

In a manner akin to the below, specifically.

1. “I’ve NEVER seen an episode and I NEVER plan to either”

Congrats Janet, you want a medal for your desire to stick on something else at 9pm every evening?

Let us know how your eighth rewatch of Friends goes, yeah?

2. “Not gonna be able to chat to anyone about anything else in work now, sake” 

Yes, because every single sliver of office chat is now reserved for Love Island based content.

Want to ask someone to make you a coffee? Not happening mate, everyone’s too busy discussing Tommy’s abs.

Complaining your car has just been clamped? No one cares because Joe’s crying again.

Announcing that there’s a fire in the building? It’ll have to wait hun, Slenderman has just entered the villa much to Anna’s delight.

3. “Look at all these words I’ve muted on Twitter”

‘LoveIsland,’ ‘LoveIsland2019,’ and ‘JusticeForYewande’ have all been blocked from appearing on Kevin from finance’s timeline.

He just wants to be able to scroll through the TL and quote tweet far right politicians with something salty for the sake of numbers in peace!

His loss.

4. “I just don’t GET it” 

You do, Saoirse, you just don’t want to admit it.

5. “Would you not watch something with substance? Like Prime Time?”

The two are not mutually exclusive, John. I can be interested in current affairs and also care about whether Anna is going to ride Sherif into oblivion on night six.

It’s possible.

6. “This is the death of TV” 

Or is it, Katie, the rebirth?

7. “I refuse to acknowledge the vast popularity of this TV show because it is, at its very core, a programme for women and such trivial things are by default uninteresting to me, a man” 

“Now let me go watch the football.

“Bye.”

Make sure you like and subscribe to our Love Island show for all the goss you might have missed, coming to you every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

https://soundcloud.com/ivegotatext/it-is-what-it-is-meet-the-love-islanders-and-ban-bev-forever

 

Topics:

list,Love Island