She was told she was “ignorant” for using the term.
A mum was left fuming after a stranger accused her of being “racist” towards her own son – all because she called him a “cheeky monkey”.
The woman was left reeling after the accusations, and turned towards Mumsnt for advice on if she was wrong to be upset.
The mum, who is white, said that she was playing with her mixed-race son at the park when she used the term – which she had meant affectionately.
According to the post, she was then confronted by a black woman at the park, who called her “ignorant” for the use of the term.
She wrote:
“I was at the park with my son, not many people there just one other lady with her two kids. I smiled at her on the way in and she gave me a dirty look.
“Bit strange but just ignored it. I was playing and we were having a great time, we were laughing and I called him a cheeky monkey affectionately.
“This lady storms over to me and tells me not say that around her children (she was black for the record) she was very rude and stood right in my face.
“I asked her what the problem was and she gave me a big speech. I can’t exactly [remember] how she worded it as I’m fuming but she basically said, me calling my own baby a cheeky monkey was racist because he’s mixed.
“She also said that I was ignorant and that I needed to educate myself because I know nothing about my own child’s race.
“She then told me that I’m ‘just another one of those girls who thinks a brown baby is an accessory’.”
The Mumsnet user went on to explain that she is learning out her partner’s Swahili culture, as well as learning the language alongside her son.
She continued:
“As for seeing him as an accessory, that’s just ridiculous – he is the most precious and important thing in my life.”
The responses generally agreed that the original poster was right to be upset, and some agreeing that the name is perfectly alright.
One dad said:
“Sounds as if you were targeted for abuse because you are white with a mixed race child. She sounds pretty awful.”
Another parent added:
“Ridiculous! You obviously weren’t using the phrase in a racist fashion. I used to call my DDs ‘cheeky monkey’ all the time, in a totally affectionate way when they were being, well cheeky. And what did it have to do with her anyway?”
Others said that they could understand the other mum’s point of view, acknowledging that the term could be seen as offensive – but that the woman went about things the wrong way.
A different person said:
“It sounds like she was very unreasonable to you and I can understand why you’re upset.
“I think there are probably good reasons behind her being so sensitive to the term ‘monkey’ when it has previously been used in such a derogatory way about POC.
“But that said, you OBVIOUSLY weren’t using it in that way and she had no right to say you see your baby as an accessory.”
Another one wrote:
“Wasn’t there a huge rumpus recently when H&M had a black child in a shirt with ‘monkey’ written on it? They were told in no uncertain terms that they were insensitive and wrong.
“This woman was unbelievably rude and aggressive but underneath that I can see where she’s coming from.”
