There are few things we love more than a Bank Holiday weekend. One of the highlights, of course, is having no excuse not to hit the town. Three nights to choose from, and an extra day off to recover. What’s not to love? It never really goes quite as planned though. Here are the seven stages of every Bank Holiday night out.
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The Planning
Two curious things about Irish women;
1) Most of us hate making decisions and use the phrase “I don’t mind, whatever you want to do” more than we should.
2) Many of us, usually the same ones the above applies to, are incapable of ‘going with the flow’ and feel the need to plan in military precision.
Hence, the plans must be made in advance. Hour by hour. Ideally with a typed itinerary. You can never be too careful.
The False Start
You’re clocking off at five pm on the dot! Oh wait, no you’re not. You’re stuck following up on twelve emails your boss told you were really, really important. Shame she only told you at five to five, and she’s already gone. No matter, an hour later you’re free and easy! You’ll just drive to… nowhere. Traffic is absolute gridlock and you’re getting nowhere fast. Just as well your weekend is a long one, as it looks like you’ll be spending the first night in the car.
The Fashion Show
You’re finally home, the wine is uncorked and you are READY for a long-awaited night with your girls. Except, not actually ready as such, since you haven’t got a clue what you’re going to wear and you were startled to see that Casper took the place of your reflection in the mirror. Cue the frantic dash for a tanning mitt and the fashion show, ideally with a friend present for feedback.
The Mass Appeal
Much like it seemed the entire country was in their car at 6pm, by 11pm they’re all crammed into your local bar or nightclub. People you haven’t seen since the last Bank Holiday weekend are everywhere, sure it would be an awful waste if you didn’t head out on a long weekend. We don’t get another one until Halloween you know, and that’s a whole other ball game…
The Awkward Moment
It might be when you bump into the ex. It might be when you return from the bathroom to find your best mate shifting the face off that strange guy she works with. It might be when you attempt a Dirty Dancing lift and faceplant in the middle of the club. No one knows how or when, but it will happen at some stage and the best thing you can do is hide from the cameras.
The Fear
You’ll have to wait until the next day for this one. It’s a byproduct of a night out, and if you don’t suffer from it then you will never understand. So there’s no point even trying to explain.
The Promises
“Next time we’re going away for the weekend.”
“We should have a girlie mini-break!”
“I’m never going to InsertLocalNightclubNameHere again”
“That’s it, I’m off drink/chips/men until Christmas”
Then you start to laugh. You remember the craic that was had, you admit that you really did feel lovely in that dress and your tan looked lovely, the D&M with your bestie was long overdue and that chipper was only heavenly at 3m. Same time next week… just minus the recovery day. Oh well.
Whatever plans go awry this weekend, get your tan sorted with Cocoa Brown – you’ll be gorgeously golden in 5 simple steps!
