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08th Mar 2017

Six ways to be kinder – to yourself and to everyone else

Start today.

It needs to stop.

There is no denying that we as women, and yes that’s all of us, are far too hard on ourselves.

Constantly berating yourself because you made a minor mistake at work.

“WHY were you so silly?
“How did you manage to do that?”
“What will your boss say?”

On and on continues the vicious cycle, worrying constantly, keeping you awake at night as your head fills up with all the little bugbears and to-do lists that have accumulated in your head over the course of the day.

The worst of it is once one worry has abated, another is there to take its place and it’s really rather horrendous.

However, in honour of International Women’s Day which takes place today (March 8th), we want to ask every female Her reader to go a little easier on yourself, take some time out, be a little kinder to YOU.

The reality is that if you don’t, you can’t expect anyone else to.

It doesn’t have to be massive either, small gestures go a long way and genuinely, having practised them, the below six points actually help.

Treat yourself

We’re not talking YSL bags here, chance would be a fine thing, but looking after yourself is key.

Stop off at your favourite coffee shop for a latte made just the way you like it, by your favourite barista. Eat that Nutella brownie if you want it, you KNOW you do. Buy that top if you’re still thinking about it a week later. Have that glass of wine.

One Her member lives by the mantra, ‘life is short, eat the cake’ and there’s no arguing with that.

Stop beating yourself up

This follows on from number one. There’s no point in allowing yourself something nice if you’re just going to feel bad about it.

It takes all the good away from the treat you’ve just had and that defeats the purpose altogether.

The main point to remember is that despite all the motivational advice and self-help books in the world, you’re the only one that can be kinder to yourself. Yeah, you can hope that others do so too but you have the power to change things for you, right now.

Think about others

Although we’re all about taking time for yourself, you actually get a lot from helping others.

Pick up a small thank you for your significant other, buy a coffee for your work bestie, order flowers for your Mam, arrange a brunch date for you and your gals.

The likelihood is you’re not the only one in a funk and doing something nice for your favourite person/people will pay it back in spades.

Alter your outlook

This is tough because no matter what anyone says, changing your way of thinking takes time.

If you think negatively, chances are you’re only going to get negative vibes in return.

There’s research to back this up too, showing that when we allow a cynical attitude to foster, we’re automatically setting ourselves up for self-sabotage.

This isn’t a magical overnight quick-fix but honestly, this is one change worth making even if it takes a little longer to put into practice.

Get familiar with hygge

There’s been a lot of buzz about hygge in recent months and if you’re not yet au fait with the concept, it’s the Danish term for making ordinary, everyday things special.

The easiest place to hygge is your home and simple things like lighting candles, adorning the couch with comfy throws and framing pretty prints all help to transform an ordinary space into something special.

A post shared by Anna (@skandynawska_weranda) on


Stop whatever you’re doing, take a moment and just breathe. Take a minute to focus on the good things in your life rather than the everyday things that are bringing you down, consistently.

It sounds really simple but applying this very simple mindfulness task at random points throughout the day can have a calming effect. It’s also a reminder that as hard as things are right now, you have a duty of care to you.

If you don’t ‘mind yourself’ as every Irish Mammy would say, how can you expect anyone else to?