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11th Feb 2015

Shifty First Dates – The Her.ie Guide To Dating In Ireland: The Secret To Success

One love expert shares her top ten tips to finding your soulmate.

Her

In this weekly feature, Her.ie goes behind enemy lines to see what it’s really like to be single in Ireland.

From speed dating to making speedy escapes, our no-holds-barred blog will follow our attempts to venture into the dating jungle, play the field and share any wisdom that we finds along the way.

The Secret To Success

It’s that time of year again – V Day is on the horizon and your social network feed is about to be packed with a combination of sickly tweets from those who are loved up and passive-aggressive moans from people who feel like they are missing out.

I’ve never had particularly strong feelings about Valentine’s Day, other than a massive sense of frustration at the presumption that the day makes every single woman miserable and we are spending it at home crying into a glass of Pinot Grigio.

Though I may not currently be in a relationship (or anywhere near it!), I am a bit of a romantic at heart and think anything that encourages people to share the love and plan thoughtful gestures for their significant others can only be a good thing.

I’ll probably spend the big night celebrating some of the female loves of my life over a few drinks or treating myself to a bit of well overdue downtime with a terrible 90s movie and my two most reliable boyfriends, Ben & Jerry.

When you think about it, Valentine’s as a single lady ain’t so bad at all – you have an excuse to treat yourself and you get exactly the present the want!

giphy

However, if Feb 14th is just another reminder that you haven’t found ‘The One’ yet and you’d like to be getting cosy with a new fella instead of your hot water bottle, we have a few tips for you.

Patricia Lohan recently launched The Soulmate Attraction Formula and believes that she has figured out the secret to escaping the frustration of dating and cut straight to finding the right man for you.

“The man of your dreams won’t just arrive at your door, knocking and saying ‘Honey I’m here!’. You must take inspired action! To attract the man of my dreams and meet my soulmate, I made small intentional changes that had a profound impact on my whole life,” she said.

Here are her ten best tips to get ready for love…

Make Space in Your Life

Are you working too many hours? Are your nights and weekend filled with so many other obligations that even if you were asked out on a date, you wouldn’t have time? If so, this has to change! Create time for self love to show the universe you are ready for someone else to love you too.

Clear All Your Clutter

This is a huge factor in finding love. It’s important to make space and get rid of any old clothes, jewelry, shoes, makeup and handbags, especially if it holds memories of your ex. Holding on to old energy that does not fit you or suit you anymore. It’s time to do a spring clean and make space for love.

Get Active and Join a Club Doing Something that You Love

When you feel fit, healthy and energized you are infinitely more attractive. You will feel happier on the inside, radiate joy on the outside, and be more likely to attract your ideal partner.

Buy New Sexy Underwear

Wearing old grotty underwear is no good for you! Buy gorgeous, sexy underwear for yourself, because you deserve it.

new-girl-bib

Treat Yourself to New Sheets

Your bedroom should be a haven that represents rest and romance. Your bed must feel beautiful and in harmony with your desires. Create an intimate space that is ready for love.

Refresh Your Wardrobe

Is your wardrobe dull and uninspired? Do you keep wearing the same black clothes? Add some colour into your life and don’t be afraid to dress up!

Smile And Have Fun

No matter how dressed up and glamorous you are, it will quadruple when you smile! When I asked my fiancé what advice would he give to single women to make themselves more appealing, he said SMILE. How simple is that?

Let Go of Your Past

Pining over your exes is bad for your health… and your love life! If you keep looking behind you, you’ll never move forward. Forgive any past lovers for any wrongs and release any anger, guilt, shame or negative emotions so you can be fully present and ready for love.

Meditate

Meditation calms the mind and brings you peace. There is no need to be concerned about “doing it right”, just taking the time to connect with your breath can help you get into a space where you are ready to receive love. There are great visualisations that you can find online to see you already with the guy of your dreams in your life!

Surround Yourself With Beauty

I love burning scented candles, having fresh flowers in the house and using essential oils. Adorn yourself, and your space, with objects that make your feel beautiful.

Express Gratitude

Letting others know you love and appreciate them feels great, and also attracts more love into your life. Make time today to connect with a friend, family member, or anyone who brightens your life. Mail a handwritten note, call or text that special someone and let them know you appreciate them.

“Today make time to create, experience and appreciate beauty, joy and love in your own life and see how things start to shift for you. Remember that you attract people and things that are aligned with what you’re giving. Radiate love, do things that make you happy, be patient and I bet you’ll be amazed at what happens!”

Need a little help? Patricia is offering a little Valentine’s treat of a free three-part The Soulmate Attraction Formula course to all of our Shifty First Dates readers!

Are you feeling the love? We want to hear all about it! Let us know how you met your partner by emailing [email protected] or tweeting us @Herdotie with #shiftyfirstdates