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03rd Mar 2022

Is it important to know your partner’s love language?

Katy Brennan

Treating your partner like you want to be treated is a nice idea and all – but it ain’t really gonna cut it.

Ah, sex and relationships in the modern world. It feels like it requires more work than ever before, right?

Sure, all you have to do to meet someone new is swipe right, but we’ve all heard the Tinder horror stories – and those dating trends just keep on coming.

It turns out there might just be one simple answer to finding a relationship that truly lasts – understanding love languages.

The idea of love languages was first discussed by author Dr Gary Chapman in his bestselling book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

Basically, love and affection don’t look the same to everyone, there’s no one size fits all. What makes you feel nurtured and cared for might be a total no-go for someone else.

Relationships tend to thrive when both partners show each other love and affection in the ways that each one prefers to receive it.

It might seem like another cheesy self-help fad, but many couples find a good understanding of love languages has helped to strengthen and even save their relationships.

Perhaps it’s time the rest of us took note.

So, what exactly are love languages?

There are five different love languages which represent five ways we express and receive love: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts.

Every person will resonate with one more than the others and this is their predominant love language.

If one’s love language is words of affirmation, they’ll feel loved most when their partner gives them praise, appreciation, compliments, and encouragement.

If physical touch resonates with someone most then, you guessed it, they hold physical expressions of love – like cuddling – as the most important thing.

If a person’s love language is quality time, nothing means more to them than spending one-on-one time with their partner, regardless of what they’re doing together.

For those whose love language is acts of service, small helpful actions make them feel most appreciated. This can be something as simple as their partner doing the dishes without being asked or being surprised with their favourite meal for dinner.

Lastly, if a person’s love language is receiving gifts, they feel most loved when they are given  thoughtful material objects – even if it’s just picking up their favourite snack while out shopping.

So, as you can see, feeling loved can be something quite different for individuals.

Why should I know my partner’s?

As many experts will tell you, when it comes to relationships, communication is key.

Above all else, knowing your partner’s love language will help you to understand how to effectively communicate with them.

It makes you more aware of how to treat your significant other. If you know your partner’s love language is physical touch, for example, you can make the effort to hold their hand more often in public.

At the same time, it will also teach you what to avoid, meaning less arguments. A person with a words of affirmation love language is not going to take heavy criticism well. Someone with quality time as their love language won’t appreciate if their partner never prioritises one-on-one time.

Getting to know your partner’s love language will essentially help both of you feel more fulfilled.

Bottom line: Treating your partner like you want to be treated is a nice idea and all, but, honestly, it ain’t really gonna cut it.

We are all unique and we all have very different needs and desires – love languages can be an essential tool in helping our romantic relationships thrive.