My addictions in life include, but are not limited to; cigarettes, tea, pizza, Louis Theroux and The Internet.
I think The Internet is a magical place; where birds talk and cats dance and children fall into bowls of blueberries. I love it.
I am, admittedly, rarely without my phone in hand. But, like most addictions (excluding my penchant for Louis), I worry that it has an overall negative effect on my wellbeing.
So when Innocent Smoothies contacted Her HQ and challenged one of us to go off the grid for a whole weekend and the Innocent Unplugged Festival in Kent, I stepped up to the plate. After of course, I’d Googled the line up.
Now before I continue I must preface this tale with a few informative facts. Firstly, I’m not the most geographically aware adult.
I knew that Kent was close to London. I knew that London had three airports. I was not however aware of the landmass of London.
Secondly, the unplugged festival occurred on the weekend of May 23rd. As an active and contributing member of society I was deeply concerned about the Marriage Referendum and having campaigned for its success, it seemed appropriate that celebrations would be had post voting on the Friday.
Thirdly, my plus one, Lydia, is as geographically ignorant, as big an Internet addict and was as interested in celebrating the referendum as I.
So it’s unclear what exactly happened. Someone didn’t set the alarms, or someone slept through them. The details are irrelevant at this stage but we woke up significantly later than planned.
Panic mode set in and I Hailoed a taxi instead of arranging with a rank. It arrived within 6 minutes. Internet 1 – Real Life 0.
We got to the airport in record time but the kind woman of the check in desk deemed it too late to actually board the plane to Gatwick.
Slightly indignant, we headed to the flight transfers desk where a much more pleasant human found us seats on a flight to Heathrow with only a mere hours wait.
It must be noted that we did ask how far apart Heathrow was from Gatwick and the response was a vague 40 minutes-ish. We figured there would be a train of some sort that could possibly magically get us from Heathrow to the forest.
It was only after we had transferred flights and sought the help of the ever-wise Google that we realised how much of a predicament we were in. Internet – 2.
Arriving in Heathrow in a less than ideal physical and mental state, we decided on a car service. I quickly Googled one and with a vague idea of price went to the airport car service to seek a better deal.
Their prices were extortionist and I instead booked with the online company who picked us without any major difficulties. Internet – 3.
Our spirits were lifted reading the results of the referendum pouring in. Internet – 4.
We found our way to the forest a mere three hours later than the rest of the Irish group. Signs everywhere encouraged campers to switch off their phones but given the morning that was in it my battery had fully died.
We were incapable of alerting anyone to our arrival and had to find our tent by a process of elimination. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to knock on a tent, but it’s an awkward process that would have been easily avoided with the aid of a quick Whatsapp. Internet – 5.
With no other option but to stick together for fear of separation, we went off exploring the forest. The festival was a little beauty. The focus was on disconnecting, recharging and being present.
The Innocent Inspires Yurt did exactly what it says on the tin, with talks from Action for Happiness to Green Living.
The main stage was small and intimate with headliners including The Correspondents, Mr Motivator and the charming Broken Back. An outdoor spa with hot tubs and massages looked absolutely idyllic and the yoga circles and hula-hoopers filled any vacant spaces.
I never was one for being able to hula-hoop but I embraced the opportunity and made a fool of myself. Luckily, the lack of technology meant there was no embarrassing photographic evidence. Real life – 1.
Social activities included Speed Dating which is effectively Real Life Tinder only more awful. After 17 flash dates, love did not blossom but it certainly made the festival more interesting.
Intimate prepared questions gave us a brief insight to these otherwise complete strangers and I must admit it was far more accurate than a Facebook Creep. Real Life – 2.
There were moments I automatically reached for my phone, mostly during brief moments of separation or to take a photo. By Sunday the itch was less frequent and it was freeing to feel disconnected.
We sat in hay barrels making friends, drinking Pilsner and talking about life in the great outdoors. I was a changed woman. Real Life – 3.
I’m back in work on Monday morning and have already spent a shameful amount of time online. My phone is buzzing beside my laptop and I’ve nine tabs of things open that I need.to.read. I still love the Internet, I always will. But what has changed is knowing that I can disconnect and that I can survive without it.
All I need to remember is to Google where I am or where I’m going before I switch off.
