One lesson that we all learned very early in life is that you don’t mess with an Irish mammy.
She may look after you when you’re sick, cook lovely comforting dinners and always remember to put the hot water bottle in when you come to stay but if you cross her, she’ll waste no time in showing you who is boss.
Here are the top threats that were guaranteed to get us to behave….
1) “Just wait til your dad comes home!”
If you had a mild-mannered Mammy, she knew that the threat of dobbing you in to your dad was the perfect tool to keep you in line. The waiting was the worst part…
2) “I’ll put the smile on the other side of your face”
We never really understood what this one meant but her tone suggested that it wouldn’t be pleasant.
3) “Don’t make me come up there.”
This is Mammy-code for ‘things are about to get serious’. This is your final call to quit the craic because if she comes near those stairs, you’re done for.
4) “Keep on like that and you’ll get the wooden spoon!”
The wooden spoon – the most hated kitchen utensil in an Irish kitchen. The mere mention of the wooden spoon is enough to strike fear into the heart of an Irish women. We still don’t have one in our kitchen… just in case.
5) “What did you say to me?”
We all fell into this trap. She definitely heard. And you should definitely, DEFINITELY not repeat it.
6) “You won’t be smiling when I’m finished with you.”
Pretty self-explanatory. She’s not bluffing either.
7) “If you don’t finish that homework, you can forget about the disco on Friday night.”
Once you’d grown out of the wooden spoon, your social life became the new torture tool in Mammy’s arsenal. Worked like a charm.
8) “I’m not going to say it again…”
She probably will but if you’ve any sense, she won’t need to.
9) “I’ll redden your a*se”
Uh-oh, if you’re hearing this you reached Stage 5 Mammy Anger. Run while you still can.
10) “I’m just disappointed.”
This was actually worse than all the rest for some reason.
11) “Who do you think you’re talking to?”
The boss… and don’t you forget it!
