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21st Sep 2023

Born Too Soon: Nothing can prepare you for the unimaginable grief after losing your baby

“It doesn’t get more raw than what you see in the series”

Born Too Soon has become one of the most important shows on TV in recent years. The heartbreaking, but eye-opening Virgin Media TV series gives viewers an insight into the NICU at Cork University Maternity Hospital. The show has opened our eyes to what the medical team faces every day but has also highlighted the heartache so many parents face when their baby is born too soon.

Mum Treasa bravely opened up about the devastating loss of her baby boy Joshua in Born Too Soon. She was 12 weeks pregnant with twins when the staff at Cork University Maternity Hospital revealed a harrowing diagnosis to her and her husband Ian. One of their twins was diagnosed with anencephaly, meaning his skull didn’t fully form. This life-limiting condition meant his mum didn’t know if he would even be born alive. Her wonderful son Joshua was born alive, but his family had to say a heartbreaking goodbye to him just two days after his birth.

Treasa courageously opened up about the turmoil she experienced and the joy of life as a mum to her son and Joshua’s twin Jaxon. She explained to that she wanted to take part in the show to help other parents going through this and to remind them that they’re not alone.

“We took some time after our consultant asked if we were interested in taking part. I realised that I would have liked to have an insight into this journey because we weren’t the first and we won’t be the last to face this.”

Being pregnant is a rollercoaster of emotions, but nothing could’ve prepared Treasa and her family for the wave of grief they were to experience when Joshua was diagnosed. Treasa praised the hospital staff, especially Marion and Kate who were huge supports to her during her sonograms. “Seeing Kate and Marion at my weekly scans was a source of comfort for me. They knew exactly how to treat me and knew all about my case. They really gave me the royal, five-star treatment.

The staff at CUMH were there for her and Ian from the moment Joshua’s condition was confirmed. They prepared the parents as much as they could, but Treasa said nothing can prepare you for the loss of the child.

The scenes in the series capture that devastating moment with sensitivity and care, but Treasa said it doesn’t get more raw than the emotion on screen. Seeing their story unfold on screen hit the mum with waves of disbelief, but also comfort because the show has helped people see exactly what they went through.

Treasa stressed that there is no shame in talking about grief or loss. In Ireland, we tend to stray away from those uncomfortable and heavy conversations, but talking about Joshua and all Treasa went through will help keep his memory alive. Joshua and his twin brother Jaxon were born in February, but Joshua sadly passed away two days after his birth. Reflecting on the short time she had with her son, Treasa said her baby boy was so loved during his short time on earth. She told us, “Everyone gathered in the room to say goodbye to Joshua. Our immediate family was there and the room was full of love and laughter. It’s like Joshua knew it was the right time to go. He was in his mother’s arms, surrounded by love and laughter. It was the best way for him to say goodbye, despite the unimaginable grief.”

Losing Joshua was heartbreaking, but his twin brother Jaxon is thriving and Treasa is so grateful to have him in her life. He was also only two days old when he lost his twin brother. Treasa said Jaxon always wanted to be held and be close to her in his first few months and reflecting back on this time it makes sense as he grew beside Joshua in the womb for 9 months so that loss was bound to impact him too.

However, Treasa said that Jaxon is absolutely perfect and he brings so much light into her and Ian’s lives every day and continues to get them through the pain of losing Joshua.

Born Too Soon continues on Virgin Media One next week.