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01st Jun 2018

7 things you absolutely need to do to get your ‘summer vagina’ ready

Jade Hayden

summer vagina

The summer vagina.

What is it and why do we need it?

Well, it’s basically your regular run-of-the-mill vagina except in summer time.

That’s it. That’s literally is.

Teen Vogue recently ran a how-to piece in which they detailed the dos and don’ts of having a vagina in the summer.

Basically, it focused on vaginal health and the variety of things that could lead to vaginal dryness, itching, and lots of other things that aren’t exactly the most comfortable experiences to have occurring in and around your genitals.

Pretty informative, you would think.

It was the publication’s headline though that drew most of its attention, simply reading: “How To Get  Your Best Summer Vagina Ever.”

Ah. We see.

The issue here is clearly that people tend to (most of the time) have vaginas all throughout the year, whether it’s summertime or not.

And although the piece was seemingly trying to tell readers how to look after their vaginas when things get slightly more hot and heavy down there, the headline was just a bit of a miss and, unfortunately, did not read that way.

So, in order to keep with the season-based genital theme, we’ve decided to compile a comprehensive list of things (7) that you absolutely need to do to ensure that you have the best possible summer vagina this year.

Pay very close attention.

1. Have a vagina


2. Wait until the summer months 

Kill some time by catching up on all five seasons of critically acclaimed HBO drama The Wire, or taking up a hobby like knitting.

3. Make sure to not have a vagina in the winter 


Summer vaginas only. 

4. Become one with nature 

Walk amongst the flowers, run through the fields, take a lot of allergy medication.

Do whatever you need to do (vagina inclusive) to ensure that you are as summer-y as you could ever possibly be.

Only then will your summer vagina be as vagina-ready as it can be.

5. Don’t get any sand in your vagina while hanging out at the beach 

This is a summer vagina guys, not a sandy vagina. Jesus.

6. Go for a 99 

Don’t put it near your vagina though, or any other genitalia for that matter.

You’ll ruin it.

7. Hang out with the gals 

Look lads, there’s nothing weird about a load of ladies getting together to flaunt their summer vaginas.

It’s the right time of the year for it after all. We have a lot to be proud of.

Congrats to us all.