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18th Feb 2016

21 Possible Causes Of The Tumbleweed That Invaded Australia

Warning: Contains sick burns.

Ciara Knight

Not too long ago, there was a rogue tumbleweed invading Australia.

No joke, the tumbleweed was legitimately called Hairy Panic. #Cryin.

Naturally, there were numerous causes for the development of this tumbleweed that needed to be explored.

I’ve drafted a list of some of the possible causes of the tumbleweed. (If you are particularly susceptible to sick burns, perhaps this isn’t the listicle for you).

1. Stories about the time you volunteered in Africa, which was a mandatory part of your degree.

2. Your heartfelt stance on global warming.

3. Your Mam’s explanation of how she makes her special Christmas stuffing.

4. Your diary.

5. Your makeup tutorial on YouTube.


6. Tales of your “wild” teenage years.

7. Every Facebook status you’ve ever written.

8. Stories from your three month holiday in Bali.

9. That joke you made at the expense of Kanye West’s deteriorating mental state.

10. Your Dad’s thoughts on the youth of today.


11. Your Leaving Cert English essay.

12. Every fleeting thought you’ve ever had about your future.

13. That time you sarcastically said “and also with you” at the end of mass.

14. Your lasagne recipe that you never stop bragging about.

15. That time you tried to flirt with the barman in Cassidy’s.

16. Your mediocre Photoshop of Leonardo DiCaprisun.


17. The speech you gave at your sister’s wedding.

18. The personalised message you wrote on your Granny’s birthday card.

19. The amount of Tinder matches you have.

20. Your diet.

21. That time you sang ‘Sweet Child of Mine’ in the school talent competition.