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Celebrity

01st Aug 2019

‘I was so not OK with who I was’ Billie Eilish has spoken about her body dysmorphia

Jade Hayden

“I’ve never felt comfortable in really tiny clothes.”

Billie Eilish has spoken candidly about her struggle with body dysmorphia.

The 17-year-old singer said that she used to struggle with body image a lot in her earlier teenage years, and that she “never felt comfortable” in small clothes.

She said that joining a dance company when she was 12-years-old changed they way she perceived herself.

“That was probably when I was the most insecure,” Eilish told Rolling Stone. “I wasn’t as confident. I couldn’t speak and just be normal.”

“At dance, you wear really tiny clothes. And I’ve never felt comfortable in really tiny clothes.

“I was always worried about my appearance. That was the peak of my body dysmorphia. I couldn’t look in the mirror at all.”

Known for her over-sized grunge style, the ‘bad guy’ singer said that the years between 13 and 16 were “pretty rough” for her.

She eventually had to quit the dance company, a move which led to her developing a deep depression and starting to self-harm.

“It sent me down a hole,” she said.

“I went through a whole self-harming phase – we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain.

“When anyone else thinks about Billie Eilish at 14, they think of all the good things that happened. But all I can think of is how miserable I was. How completely distraught and confused.”

Eilish said that her 17th year has been her best yet, and that she hasn’t been depressed “in a minute.”

The singer will be playing this year’s Electric Picnic at Stradbally later this month.