EXPOSED: Hidden messages have been discovered in the Holy Bible

Reading is for nerds.

I recently downloaded the Bible app, just to have it. It's stored in a special folder called 'Important', alongside a takeaway app and a subfolder of my best selfies to be used in the event that I am ever kidnapped. Upon perusing the Bible, I have picked up on SEVERAL hidden messages and I'm not sure who to tell about it. Hence, I'm going to share them with you below. Some may find the following information upsetting, so readers' discretion is advised.

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'9/11 was an inside job' Yes, you read that correctly. It turns out that 9/11 legitimately was an inside job ¯\_(ツ)_/¯     'He is on the roof' Wow, thanks so much for ruining The Hangover for us, The Bible.     'Run Away With Me - Tune'  Finally, The Bible acknowledges Carly Rae Jepsen's outstanding contribution to music.     'Don't vote for Trump' America, please, for the love of Christ, take note.     'One Direction gone forever' Wow. This one is unexpected and very hard to take.     'Freddos cost too much' FINALLY, SOMEONE OTHER THAN MYSELF IS BRAVE ENOUGH TO SAY IT!