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28th Apr 2019

Science says lasting relationships come down to these TWO key traits

It's often all we need.

Denise Curtin

We’d believe it.

According to a study published in The Business Insider, the key to a successful and happy relationship ultimately depends on two key qualities which both parties must possess. Kindness and generosity.

Now it sounds simple, yeah sure, of course, you need kindness and generosity right? But according to psychologist, John Gottman, who has been studying relationships for the past 40 years, he notes that many relationships don’t actually have these traits or even use them correctly.

According to Gottam, who carried out this study, the couples who kept glued together and lasted the test of time weren’t the ones who overly bought each other lavish gifts or the ones who posted images all over Instagram wrapped around each other, no – the ones who latest the test of time were simply those who paid attention to each other and also communicated their feelings.

Now, it sounds so simple, but often in a relationship and very naturally I might add, we lose track of ourselves hence the expression “you never know what you have until it’s gone”, and therefore we end up losing sight of our partner’s feelings and their need for comfort from us. But by simply taking a step back every now and again and remembering that a relationship is about give and take and what you want you give and what you give, you deserve, you will continue stacking the building blocks to a solid and happy relationship.

Gottam notes that is all about these small gestures that carry the biggest impact when it comes to sustaining a strong relationship. For example, he notes that looking at your partner instead of your phone when they are talking or simply getting up to make them tea when they are tried, very simple, but it’s all about showing that you care and showing that you are there for them.

As independent as we are, in a relationship we do rely heavily on knowing that the other person is there for us no matter what and be it six months, two years or 10 years in, knowing that is still the case is often all we need.

You can read the full study here.