Your long white dress trails down the steps behind you, your bouquet of flowers is thrown up in the air, you are surrounded by your friends and family and you are, most importantly, with the love of your life…
It is the day every woman has dreamed of since she was a little girl. The planning, the buying and the inviting is all part of the wedding day excitement but now the traditional Irish wedding is changing.
More and more Irish women are choosing to tie the knot with their husbands-to-be abroad.
Dublin-based wedding planner Collette McKiernan O’Leary says she has seen a definite increase in phone-calls from Irish couples who want to swap the traditional, local Irish wedding for something a little bit more exotic.
“There has been a big increase in couples who are travelling abroad now to get married,” the ‘Elegant Events’ wedding planner says, “especially in the last four years.”
“Every second inquiry I get now is for a wedding abroad.”
So what are the advantages of planning your nuptials in a different country? What are the disadvantages? What is the inside story? Are there any tips that could help you?
Look no further than Her.ie as we speak to ‘Elegant Events’ owner Collette McKiernan O’Leary for the professional’s side of the story and Tipperary native Sandra Kennedy who tells us about her dream wedding in Italy last year…
The Big Decision
“Myself and my husband Garech were debating where to wed for quite a while,” newly-wed Sandra says.
“Garech’s sister and her husband went abroad to Croatia to marry last year and it had been fabulous, but we were worried my parents would not be up for the trip. We discussed it and they said they would love to go abroad so that was our decision made for us.”
The Destination
Sandra and her husband Garech Doorley, from Birr, married in the beautiful Ravello, Italy. The small village is situated just above the Amalfi Coast.
“Ravello is a tiny village up in the mountains, absolutely stunning,” Sandra says, “We had been in Sorrento, but had never visited Ravello. We really took a chance on the place but we were confident it was a nice place, it looks fabulous in the photographs, and it really was beautiful in the end.”
The Italian town of Ravello where Sandra and Garech married last September.
Here We Go!: The Planning
This is where the hair could start falling out but both Sandra and Collette say the last experience anyone has with a wedding abroad is stress.
“There was absolutely no problem with anything,” Sandra says, “It was actually less stressful than what it would have been for us in Ireland. We did the research and found a planner in Italy who planned it all for us. She organised the cake, the flowers, the whole lot, she was amazing.
“We would receive photographs of over 100 cakes and we could simply sit down here and choose which one we wanted. She did the paperwork, the translations, everything. All I had to do was buy my dress.
“The night before the wedding was relaxed too, there was no pressure, we just felt if something goes wrong, it goes wrong, we are only surrounded by our close friends and family. But, of course, nothing actually went wrong, it was all perfect.”
Collette does admit she has heard some horror stories of couples who have tried to work with a wedding planner and not had a fluent language in common, but advised that so long as you choose to work with people who you can communicate properly with, there is no problem. Phew!
The point where this lady wishes she had a wedding planner, or a file-loving friend like Monica from Friends…
The ‘Nobody Wants To Do It Job’: The Guest-List
It’s the job nobody wants to do…but the smaller guest-list for a wedding abroad can be seen both as an advantage and a disadvantage.
“The only drawback was there was only 32 of us at the wedding,” Sandra says, “We had invited 50 but we did realise it is quite expensive to ask guests abroad.
“Our guests made the week in Italy their summer holiday. There is both an upside and a downside to the idea, people don’t feel the pressure in inviting all 600 members of the local GAA club and we didn’t feel the need to invite cousins and aunties and uncles we hadn’t seen since we were small either.”
Collette agrees and says it is sometimes easier for a couple to write the guest-list when they are marrying abroad.
“It does eliminate a lot of guests that you mightn’t have necessarily wanted to invite, you don’t feel the pressure to invite Uncle Liam you haven’t spoken to in years. I think it works out well for a lot of people.”
Half this bundle, half it again… and you have your budget for your dream destination wedding.
The Big Question: Money Matters
“For a lot of people, the main reason they go abroad is the cost,” Collette says.
“You are talking about planning and hosting a wedding for about a quarter of the price you would pay here in Ireland. You get so much more for your money. It’s a million dollar wedding for a fraction of the price.
“I specialise in weddings in Portugal and Italy. In Portugal especially, they treat you like royalty. There will be food served throughout the night for the guests and an open bar until closing time. It is great that after inviting your guests abroad they don’t feel the need to put their hand in their pocket all night.
“The food is fabulous. The equivalent of their sausage rolls and sandwiches at midnight are 20 foot cheese tables and dessert tables. They really do it well. There is so much food you don’t see people very drunk either.
“It is very rare to be able to afford a free bar in Ireland, it is generally half a bottle of wine per head, but is the norm in Portugal. The financial side of things is generally the deciding factor with a lot of couples. One couple I planned a wedding for said their friends thought they had won the Lotto.”
Sandra says herself and Garech paid the same price for their wedding in Italy, but only because they chose to.
“We could have done it for a quarter of the price but we really did push the boat out. We went a bit mad because we could over there.”
Our Irish Obession: The Weather
“We got married on September 21st and it was melting,” Sandra says, “But it was beautiful that we were guaranteed the wedding. All the locals were clapping out the windows to us as we walked from the church, it really was fantastic.”
“The weather means so much for people in Ireland,” Collette says, “This summer the weather was really quite disappointing. One couple I know had their wedding on June 15th and only managed to pop outside for four minutes with the photographer during the day. Sometimes the weather is so warm that people feel the need to drink more beer and can get dehydrated, so guests do need to be careful.”
What every Irish woman wishes won’t happen on their wedding day…
In A Sentence…
“For most people the main advantages are the weather, the finances and the fact that the wedding is not just a two-day celebration, but a week of having family and friends together,” Collette says.
“The only disadvantages I see are the smaller guest list if you did want a big Irish wedding and the need to be careful in communicating with your wedding planner.”
“I would definitely do it all again,” said Sandra, “and so would Garech!
“The whole celebration was just out of this world. The advantages of the weather, the finances and the fact that we had such a lovely group out there in such a beautiful place were all just fantastic. I would recommend it to anyone.”
