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24th Nov 2018

So are we dating?… 10 signs it’s time to define your relationship

Is it time for 'the talk?'...

Denise Curtin

Ah, the grey area.

The intervening stage between “casually shagging” and relationship status.

Like, you both know you are more than a “friend with benefits”… you spend all your time together, you do “couple things” like going out for dinner and to the cinema, you pet fight with each other and hang out at each other’s house – yet, when the gals ask “sooo… are you two official?” Even though it is blatantly obvious, you say “nope”.

Soooo what happens next, eh? When do you know you’re at the stage when it’s either time to sink (part ways) or sail (make things official)? Like don’t get me wrong, you too can keep doing what you’re doing for as long as you want, I did it for a whole year before I “officially” got in a relationship, but a time does come when you need to ask yourself… so what are we?

Want to know a good time? When you can relate to all of these 10 signs.

1. You confide in them about everything

Are they the first person you want to tell your big news to? Do they know your secrets that nobody else does? If you have family woes or personal problems, do you feel safe enough to confide in them? This is the first sign.

2. You expect to see each other on the weekends

It’s a given that you will be spending your weekend or at least part of it with them, often you even text them during the week to plan what you’re going to do together or if you should book that restaurant, see that film, etc…

3. You know all of their mates

When you arrive at any gathering with “said person”, your friends are all accustomed to the fact ye are “a thing” and vice-versa, you feel like you have bonded with their mates too and can have a laugh with them.

4. You think about them ALL THE TIME

Do they irrationally pop into your head throughout the day? Do you wonder what they are up to when you haven’t heard from them in a few hours? Do you Facebook and Instagram creep them as a way of getting a “fix” of their face? Girl, you are deep.

5. You two talk about going away together

Do you spend time chatting about places you should visit together or a holiday you should definitely go on? If so, this is planning for the future and a BIG SIGN that you two are more than just a handy shag.

6. You’re not interested in having sex with anyone else

The thought of getting under or over someone else makes you shudder and when you’re on a night out you are not even interested in looking for the hotties because you’ve already got yours.

7. The thoughts of them getting with someone else makes you f*cking crazy

When you imagine them having sex with someone else you want to flip the lid, they are YOURS and only YOURS and you don’t want to imagine them touching another woman’s arm let alone vagina.

8. You are yourself around them and they are too

They do things like fart around you and find it hilarious even though you think it’s vile – but at the same time you feel comfortable being makeup free and in old tatty pjs around them because you know they like you regardless of how you look. This was one of the biggest signs for me, when my now boyfriend told me I was gorgeous with or without makeup and showed me the same level of affection “dolled up” or hungover, looking like shit – this was when I really thought to myself “OK, this boy actually really likes me…”

9. They have met your parents

They hang out at your house and your parents know them by name. They ask you how they’re doing and believe that you too are surely in a relationship???

10. You can’t imagine life without them

You got a great thing going with a person you seriously like, someone who makes you laugh and tells you how much they are obsessed with you, so why would you ever want to leave this go? Why stop something that feels “too good to be true”? It is clear that you two are in love so the good news is, it doesn’t have to end.

My best piece of advice to give you is to live in the moment and tell that person how you feel and ask them what you want the answers to. Don’t be scared because the biggest problem with conversation is the illusion that it has already taken place.