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13th Feb 2019

You can now name a salmon after your ex and watch it get eaten by bears

Jade Hayden

Salmon deserve better, tbh.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship, chances are you have an ex.

Sometimes exes are grand. They leave your life, never to return, and don’t say a whole lot, allowing you to get on with your life and never ever see them again.

And then there are the exes that you want to pulverise with your bare hands because they essentially ruined your life and are basically The Worst.

Pretty chill scenario.

And while people are already going to be naming their exes after cockroaches this Valentine’s Day, naming a salmon that is soon to be torn apart by bears after them is just that little bit saltier.

And dramatic.

And very poor on behalf of the fish, but look, if they were going to get eaten by the bear anyway, who are we to judge?

An animal rehabilitation centre in the US, Wildlife Images, is charging bitter (we mean, normal) people a $20 donation to name a salmon after their ex.

This salmon will then be fed to two bears in the centre and photos of the event will be sent to whoever made the donation.


The centre’s website reads: “Let our 1000 pound brown bears tear into your ex.”

“Did you fall hook, line, and sinker for someone who broke your heart? Kodi & Yak would love to help you get your revenge!

“In exchange for a $20.00 donation your ex’s name will be on a salmon and served up for dinner. There is a limited number of salmon for this promotion so don’t lose your chance! Reserve your salmon today!”

Anything that helps you sleep at night, lads.