You’ve confirmed on Facebook and he’s staying in your flat 5 days a week. It’s probably about time you meet the parents. Let’s face it, you’d rather stick pins in your eyes than battle through an awkward round of the smiling Spanish inquisition.
Luckily we’ve hammered out the finer points to keep in mind when meeting the parentals… (Feel free to present said list to any friend or roommate who happens to think you’re being ‘dramatic’)
Working Out What to Wear:
First impressions count. Don’t be fooled, future mammy-in-law is spying everything from your hemline to your bust and making mental notes in between. You have every intention of nailing the first meeting look – just be sure to leave the sweater set at home (you’re fooling no-one)… and the ironic t-shirts.
Awkward Introductions:
Shake hands or debating about whether to lean in for a kiss on the cheek? Maybe you’d prefer wave across the hallway, praying for recognition? The awkward introductions mean you’re standing behind your boyfriend waiting for a cue from the parents. Do NOT lunge in for the hug. Remember personal space is your friend…
First name basis?
Is it Mr and Mrs? Are you meant to call them by their names? Agnes won’t be impressed if you jump in there too early.
Being the Ultimate Guest…
… means really you should be bringing something along. Whether it’s a half burnt cake from your baking ‘skills’, or some flowers from the garage – either way it’s brownie points. Just try not to look so awkward handing it over…
The Big Reveal:
You may be on the verge of living together, but his mammy thinks he’s holding off ’til the wedding night. She’s also not aware of his J1 antics, or that the reason he’s never at mass on a Sunday is ’cause he can’t look the priest in the eye following months of confession. Don’t undo all his hard work with one uttering from your mouth. You want to leave the house still in a relationship.
Over-sharing
She’s asking the probing questions but here’s the thing – it’s ok to be selective with your truths. She doesn’t have to believe you’re a saint, but best to leave your weekend plans off the dinner table topics of conversation. Oh, and stay away from the wine (a.k.a the fastest way to lose your dignity in a single meal sitting)
Sitting Down To a Three Course Meal
… which would be lovely except you don’t eat meat. Or they’ve decided to test you by serving up spaghetti bolognese. There’s obviously no hope if you’ve gone to a fancy restaurant either. Prepare for all your charm to exit the building once that plate is put down in front of you.
Where Did You Guys Meet?
She’s expecting a scene from a Woody Allen movie, where the reality involves a queue for the coat in Coppers and being swooned with the offer of a 3-in-1. Best to keep it safe with the old reliable ‘friend of a friend’ anecdote.
Asking the Wrong Question
Or saying the wrong thing. It’s ok to be nervous, just don’t blurt out the first thing that comes into your head. You’ll be about as suave as Lloyd under pressure…
Cooing Over The Baby Pictures
We know it sounds harsh, but we really don’t care about the baby pictures. He doesn’t look the same, no there’s no similarities around the eyes and when there’s more than one baby in the frame – well it’s a game of bingo to find your other half. You wouldn’t mind, but this is album number three, and you haven’t even made it to the family snaps from the break to Trabolgan.
The pictures also happen to be the stopping gate between your last cup of tea and making a clean exit out the front door. Do yourself a favour and coo for a good ten minutes before the ‘yawns’ start kicking in.
Just remember, whatever happens…
