“You never ever stop missing your mum no matter what age you are.”
Big Brother star Brian Dowling has paid a touching tribute to his mum Rosie on the fourth anniversary of her death.
Rosie passed away from Sudden Adult Death Syndrome at the age of 61 in 2018.
Brian marked the anniversary with a touching post on Instagram, and explained that he sometimes “tricks” himself into feeling better.
In the honest post, he acknowledged that while some say “time is a great healer”, he still feels “every emotion” he initially felt following the loss.
“I’ve tricked my mind & heart into believing this is normal,” he wrote. “Of course none of this is normal but I’ve done this to survive. I want to be here I want to live my life to the best of my ability. So I trick myself daily into feeling I’m ok & most days I am but some days I just miss my mum.”
He shared that he’ll still go to text or call her, especially when he’s travelling.
Brian wrote: “When I make a cup of tea I long to be making one for her. I miss her laugh & our daily gossip sessions. Mum loved to laugh & had such a fun personality. She would love all my updates & my work & what Arthur & I would be up to & planning.”
He continued: “Grief fundamentally changes you as a person in good ways & bad & believe you me I’ve experienced both & will for the rest of my life.
“You NEVER EVER stop missing your mum no matter what age you are. My mum was my very first best friend.If I close my eyes now I can actually hear you talking & laughing. So much has changed since you have been gone mum & you have missed so much, especially the arrival of our BEAUTIFUL BABY HARVEY. My god, you would be OBSESSED with him & he would definitely knock me from the favourite spot.”
He finished up by wishing Rosie a happy “heavenly” birthday.