We all love a good shopping spree. From bagging a bargain to trawling the sale rails, we know shopping is our cardio… and we’re not afraid to flex those muscles.
So what can you guarantee on any stop to the shops? How about…
A Stop off at Mecca…
… Otherwise known as Penneys. They have our tights, tops and tan in one shop. There’s a reason Penneys will ALWAYS have a place in our hearts – everything is GORGEOUS. Besides, what else will we say when people tell us how stylish we look?!
Expired Gift Vouchers
There’s two type of gift voucher user – those who remember them and use them on amazing splurges… and those who forget the card is haunting the back of their purse weeping every time you hand over cash in its place. It’s usually when we do get around to pulling out the magic money at the till that we hear it’s expired. By a week.
The Sale Rail Showdown
Irish people love a bargain. If we half-like a top and see it marked down, it’s now our target for a budget buy. If someone else dares pick it up, you will wait in the background to see if it passes the changing room test. You also have pouncing skills for the minutes it ‘drops’ out of her basket.
Mwahahaha…
The Sale Rail Rage
You just dropped €100 on the perfect dress. Then you happen to walk buy and it’s half price. A week later. There are no words for this rage. You do hate every other shopper who has the same fabulous taste.
Foundation Marks EVERYWHERE
We may be the palest ladies to strut our stuff, but that doesn’t stop a wash of orange foundation marks on the collar of every collar ever. And there’s just one in your size. Of course there is. *Sighs*
Squeezing into Shoes
You’ve eyed the most amazing shoes… they’re just in the wrong size. Those sparkly stilettos just scream glamour, (and serious cuts to your feet). They might be two sizes too small, but you will squeeze your feet into them and you will walk like Bambi. It’ll be worth it. Who needs to FEEL their feet?
Queueing For The Bathroom?
Our bodies have a sick sense of humour. We’ve just found our new favourite dress and we’re queueing to try it on for size. Just as our bladders decide they can’t hold on and we REALLY need to pee. We will be holding on for dear life before we lose our place in this line.
You tell the person behind you, hoping to bond. She’s not impressed…
Angry Counter Assistant
She’s hungover, listening to the same five songs on repeat and wishing you and every other customer would very kindly get out. Her patience is wearing thin and then you realise the card machine isn’t working properly. Let’s delay your time at the counter even more.
The Bursting Paper Bag
New clothes – check. Paper bag – check. Torrential rain scattering your underwear halfway down the main street – check.
Just as well no-one saw. No, that’s right EVERYONE saw. Excuse us while we grab those sanitary towels/ bra/ rolling fruit from the path.
Tea / Cake/ Wine Breaks
You’ve just manoeuvred your way through the shops, bagged the steals of the high street and there’s a cup of tea calling out to you. Along with a caramel slice. And a glass of wine? Sure why not, you’ve earned it.
The One Day You Have Money…
Means you’ll go to town and see nothing you want to buy. A week later, where you’re more likely to see moths fly from your purse, you can guarantee the dream dress will be hanging in a shop window. Life’s fair like that.
The Hack Of Her
You might have bought the most amazing outfit but you’re down the local and you see your arch nemesis wearing the exact replica of your catwalk creation. You’re mentally checking whether you cut off the tags. It’s tainted now, you’ll never feel the same about that outfit again.
