DRINK!
It’s a big day today. There’s only 10 days left in 2016, Kiefer Sutherland turns 50, it’s the first day of Pancha Ganapati and it’s also the anniversary of iCarly’s first period.
Today is also known as the Winter solstice, meaning it’s the shortest day and longest night of the year. What better way to celebrate this momentous day than by getting truly and utterly out of your bin.
Simply take a sip of your preferred beverage each time the following occurs.
1. Someone informs you that the evenings will get brighter from today onwards.
2. You’re told that there’s only 10 days left in 2016 (and thank God for that).
3. You stop to ponder the whereabouts of missing flight MH 370.
4. You see an incredibly gas bit of corporate social media referring to the ‘grand aul stretch in the evenings’.
5. Any time someone confuses Newgrange with Newbridge.
6. If someone proudly tells you they wouldn’t go near Newgrange today because “it’d probably piss rain anyway knowing my luck”.
7. You’re informed that the tunnel might only be 50 years old, and your world will instantly come crashing down as you face up to the fact that your entire life has been built upon a lie.
8. Someone in work jokes that they got hardly anything done and attributes it to today being the shortest day of the year LOL gas.
9. You’re momentarily distracted by your impending mortality.
10. Someone remarks that “it’s dark already” at 4pm, so you tell them a really harrowing story, then say “Much darker now, isn’t it?” and they don’t talk to you for a few weeks.
