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09th Nov 2016

8 people that would make a better President than Donald Trump

Ciara Knight

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

Everything is ruined and America has made an absolute show of itself. There’s literally nothing funny about this situation. It’s utterly tragic and depressing and worrying.

But, if we don’t laugh, we will retreat to our beds until further notice, and that’s no good. So, here’s 8 people we’d sooner put in charge of America.

A slice of Billy Roll

NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 09: Campaign chairman John Podesta speaks on stage at Democratic presidential nominee former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's election night event at the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center November 9, 2016 in New York City. Clinton is running against Republican nominee, Donald J. Trump to be the 45th President of the United States. (Photo by Aaron P. Bernstein/Getty Images)

He’d campaign as William Baguette to appear more presidential, but we’d all refer to him as Billy Roll.

 

A Morbeg

NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 09: at the New York Hilton Midtown in the early morning hours of November 9, 2016 in New York City. Americans went to the polls yerterday to choose between Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton as they go to the polls to vote for the next president of the United States. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

In an interesting turn of events, the female Morbeg would be elected, with the male Morbeg as Vice.

 

Harambe (RIP)

COLUMBUS, OH - NOVEMBER 01: President Barack Obama speaks during a campaign event for Hillary Clinton at Capital University on November 1, 2016 in Columbus, Ohio. President Obama was stressing to the crowd the importance to vote with the presidential race so close, between Clinton and Trump, only one week before election day. (Photo by Ty Wright/Getty Images)

Shout out to the 11,000 morons that actually voted for Harambe, you are truly gas and deeply responsible for this shitshow.

 

Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp’s Adventure on DVD

DURHAM, NH - NOVEMBER 07: President Obama on stage during a campaign event for Democratic presidential nominee former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton at the University of New Hampshire on November 7, 2016 in Durham, New Hampshire. With one day until the election, both candidates and their surrogates are holding campaign rallies in battleground states across the nation. (Photo by Scott Eisen/Getty Images)

Regardless of it being the best film of 2001, it could also be the leader of the free world.

 

Twink’s dog, Teddy

WINTERVILLE, NC - NOVEMBER 03: Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton campaigns at a Get Out the Vote Rally at Pitt Community College November 3, 2016 in Winterville, North Carolina. Less than a week remains before the United States elects the nation's next president. (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

When he went missing, the only place they should’ve looked in was our hearts.

 

A tumbleweed

BERWYN, PA - NOVEMBER 03: Karen Pence, wife of Republican vice presidential nominee Gov. Mike Pence, speaks to supporters during a campaign event November 3, 2016 in Berwyn, Pennsylvania. Melania Trump, wife of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, campaigned for her husband, five days before the nation pick her next president. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

A light globular mass that gets blown around by the wind. SOUND FAMILIAR?

 

One of those stickers you get with your Apple purchases

MIAMI, FL - NOVEMBER 03: President Barack Obama speaks during a campaign rally in support of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton at Florida International University on November 3, 2016 in Miami, Florida. Election day for the presidential candidates is 5 days away (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

They’re a bit of a nuisance but you can simply toss them in the bin if you don’t want them.

 

The girl on The Amanda Show that really liked eggs

BERWYN, PA - NOVEMBER 03: Melania Trump, wife of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, waves to supporters during a campaign event November 3, 2016 in Berwyn, Pennsylvania. Melania Trump campaigned for her husband, five days before the nation pick her next president. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Her name was Debbie and at least she was honest.

 

 

 

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