WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
Everything is ruined and America has made an absolute show of itself. There’s literally nothing funny about this situation. It’s utterly tragic and depressing and worrying.
But, if we don’t laugh, we will retreat to our beds until further notice, and that’s no good. So, here’s 8 people we’d sooner put in charge of America.
A slice of Billy Roll
He’d campaign as William Baguette to appear more presidential, but we’d all refer to him as Billy Roll.
In an interesting turn of events, the female Morbeg would be elected, with the male Morbeg as Vice.
Shout out to the 11,000 morons that actually voted for Harambe, you are truly gas and deeply responsible for this shitshow.
Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp’s Adventure on DVD
Regardless of it being the best film of 2001, it could also be the leader of the free world.
Twink’s dog, Teddy
When he went missing, the only place they should’ve looked in was our hearts.
A light globular mass that gets blown around by the wind. SOUND FAMILIAR?
One of those stickers you get with your Apple purchases
They’re a bit of a nuisance but you can simply toss them in the bin if you don’t want them.
The girl on The Amanda Show that really liked eggs
Her name was Debbie and at least she was honest.