Grim.

Or a happy occasion for all involved, who can say for sure. If someone you know and love was pregnant, you'd probably want them to let you know face to face, and as soon as possible. You'd want to share in their joy, congratulate them, and start planning the elaborate and totally unnecessary gender reveal as soon as possible. In a similar vein, if someone you know and love was pregnant thanks to you, you'd probably want them to let you know face to face, as soon as possible even more because, you know, you're about to become a parent. Exciting times. Or not, if you aren't actually aware of the necessary information, as this lad may very well not be. The other night, Pryzm nightclub in Nottingham had a New Year's Eve event - as most clubs across the world did. In attendance was a lad named Josh, who is going to become a father in 2019, according to a lovely poem that was written for him by his girlfriend, Sarah. The only problem is the poem never reached Josh because it was found unopened by Pryzm staff the next day when they were cleaning up. Which is unfortunate for a lot of reasons... but mainly because the poem is hysterically funny and now it's been shared all over the internet. Gas. It goes a little something like this:

 “Josh, "'Special' is what I’ll call the last few years, I’ll be collecting you later after you’ve had a few beers.

“There’s a reason I couldn’t come with you tonight, I’ve asked for this letter to be given with you at midnight.

“I hope when you read this you’ll be filled with joy - the question is, girl or boy? “Happy New Year, I hope you’ve had fun, maybe next time baby, stick it in my bum. “Love, Sarah XXX.”

Excellent work, Sarah. Excellent work. The letter was shared on Pryzm's Facebook page and people have wasted no time at all in commending Sarah for revealing her news in such a creative way... and wondering where in the name of God Josh got to. We very well may never know.