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03rd Oct 2017

This wedding announcement is peak notions and we can’t be dealing

"She was piloting her family’s motorized tender."

Getting your wedding announcement in the local paper is a pretty big deal.

Getting your wedding announcement in the New York Times is an even bigger deal.

It’s massive, actually. The crème de la crème of wedding announcements, if you will.

Understandably, those who get their marriage featured in the NY Times belong to a certain kind of class – the upper class, mainly.

And if there was any doubt as to whether the latest couple to tie the knot under the guise of the Times were blue-blooded, that was most definitely cleared up by the contents of their wedding announcement.

Grace du Pont and Conor Sutherland (or Grace Hays Holcomb du Pont and Conor Jackson Sutherland, as they are so lavishly referred to in the piece) got married on September 30 in Manhattan.

There they are now. Lovely.

As the daughter of a partner of a very fancy investment firm, Grace naturally comes from a very long line of super important du Ponts.

And the New York Times had absolutely no trouble going into intense detail about this fact.

They list Éleuthère Irénée du Pont, Pierre S. du Pont IV, and Pierre S. du Pont (the fifth, and don’t you forget it) as her predecessors.

However, the one du Pont who conveniently doesn’t get a mention in this wedding announcement is John du Pont.

And that’s probably due to the fact that he murdered Olympic wrestler Dave Schultz back in 1996.

Still, Grace’s bloodline isn’t the most notion-y aspect of this wedding announcement. Far from it actually.

That award goes to the paragraph detailing how the couple met.

And brace yourselves, because it wasn’t at 2am on the Coppers dancefloor.

According to the New York Times, the pair started dating in college in 2007, but they had met briefly one time before that… right after Conor had finished mooring a sailboat in North Haven.

Because, where else?

The announcement reads:

“Ms. du Pont offered a ride to Mr. Sutherland and a friend, whom Ms. du Pont knew. The two men had just moored their sailboat and were preparing for a long row back to the dock, whereas she was piloting her family’s motorized tender.

“They took the ride.”

We’re sure they did, yeah.

So there you have it. If you’re in the market for a new fella, all you have to do is grab your da’s motorised tender, hit the sea, and offer a lift to the first leverage buyout firm heir you see.

No bother, like.