17 things every teacher in Ireland is thinking about going back to work next week

Spare a thought for your teacher friends this weekend.

After a couple of months of well-earned summer break, our glorious educators will return to the workplace next week to continue moulding the minds of Ireland's youth. It's not going to be an easy transition for them, so with that in mind, we reached out to our teacher readers to get a sense of what's on their minds during their last weekend of summer freedom. Here's what they had to say... 1 ) "No more daytime TV. I having to break up with Sinéad Desmond after a three month romance with her on Ireland AM." https://twitter.com/sineaddesmond/status/766683150353399808 2 ) "I've accepted that I have pretty much become a grazing cow over the summer. At least school means I'll stop eating all of the food all of the time." 3) "That feeling when you looking at your timetable and weep when you see you've your craziest class during last period on a Friday. Because of course you do."     4 ) "The mere mention of returning to school around non-teacher friends bringing a chorus of, 'Well, pity about you!' Eh, I wasn't complaining, I was just saying when I was back! 5 ) "Looking at the surnames of the new first years and thinking, 'Oh Jesus, not another one of them'." 6 ) "Promising yourself you'll be more organised this year, but deep down knowing you'll be leaving everything to the last minute - the very thing we tell our students NOT to do." 7 ) "Being just as excited as the kids about getting new stationery. Ooh, a pink pen!"     8 ) "Bidding farewell to peeing when we like. I'm convinced that teachers have the strongest bladders of any profession." 9 ) "Buying a 'yard duty coat' for when you're standing around in the freezing cold in a playground wondering how did your life end up like this, and how have you not won the Lotto yet." 10 ) "Hoping that the junior infant parents have the cop on to not give their children oranges, bananas etc with the skins on, seeing as they have no clue how to open them. Knowing that they will and resigning yourself to not having a lunch of your own because you've spent too long opening everyone else's." 11 ) "One word: Velcro. Crying at having to tie the 50th lace this week. Parents: BUY VELCRO SHOES FOR YOUR KIDS. A teacher must have invented it."     12 ) "Wondering what's going to be the best excuse for not having homework done this year - and knowing exactly which student will be the one to try said excuse." 13 ) "Assuming that every wasp in the world will congregate in your classroom in September causing inevitable mayhem. Having to act that you're not actually far more terrified of the wasps than any of the kids are." 14 ) "Dreading the HSE visits for vaccinations. Stocking up on tissues for the tears. In girls' secondary schools, lots of squealing and drama queens."     15 ) "Dreading parent teacher meetings. Knowing that when you meet the parents, everything makes sense as to why a student is the way they are. For example, you tell them, 'Your daughter seems to have an issue focusing in class', as the parent is looking off into the middle distance." 16 ) "Pitying the NQTs (Newly Qualified Teachers) on their unequal and unfair wages, and knowing that they'll break their backs working to try and secure a contract." 17 ) "Eyeing up new members of staff. Knowing that any hot men working in a girls' school will have their undivided attention whilst simultaneously not listening to a word they say. So dreamy, sigh etc."