Digital Detox: Selena Gomez quit social media and so did I, here’s what I’ve learned 10 days in

Jody Coffey

Insta free since 2023!

Whether it’s related or unrelated, Selena Gomez has announced she will forego social media following some viral Golden Globe moments.

The internet, however, has chosen not to take her claim seriously, as this isn’t the first time that the actress has said she would undergo a digital detox.

In the era of social media, going cold turkey online is a pretty big claim to make – and one I have made for myself for the second year running.

So far, I have been unplugged from Instagram for 10 days, and last year, I managed six weeks without logging into the app.

While the internet wouldn’t miss me on the same scale as it would miss Selena Gomez, I too chose to come offline as a means of resetting.

“I’m off social media for a while. Focusing on what really matters,” the singer wrote over a video of her boyfriend, Benny Blanco.

Does social media really prevent us from ‘focusing on really matters’ as she puts it? Personally, I think it can.

While myself and Selena Gomez only have our social media status in common, it’s great to see such a high-profile person bring the topic into conversation and onto trending lists.

My relationship with social media is half habit and half addiction

For days, even weeks, after you come offline, your muscle memory will still have you reaching for your phone for a mindless scroll without even thinking about it.

This is coming from a person who gets, on average, around 15-20 notifications on Instagram, at best, a week. Selena, on the other hand, will likely return to millions of updates after her hiatus.

With such low engagement online, you may wonder why I felt the need to remove myself at all. I mean, what’s really the harm of it?

Well, over Christmas my screen time always reaches new, mortifying heights.

It also brings up feelings of comparison for me as I watch other users live out the festivities while I’m sitting knee-deep in a tin of roses with my phone up under my chin.

There isn’t anything wrong with this, by the way; I just know that when I start to feel bad or ashamed about it, it’s time to delete the app.

One study with both male and female participants ranging from the ages of 18 to 50+ found that as social media addiction increases, self-esteem decreases.

The results found that people in the 18-29 age demographic had higher self-esteem levels compared to those in the 30-49 and 50+ age groups.

When you take off your social media blinders, you start to see and understand the hold it has on you

There were 4.99 million internet users in Ireland at the start of 2023 – 79.8 per cent of the total population – according to DataReportal.

If you’ve never done a social media detox, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. It’s not easy, at first anyway.

When I first removed Instagram, for days I would pick up my phone and open it, only to realise I didn’t need to even use it.

How many times have I done this for Instagram and ended up falling down a one-, two-, or three-hour rabbit hole? I don’t even want to know.

For me, at the beginning, there’s a restlessness that follows deleting it; an irritable feeling watching others use it; crushing FOMO about what’s happening online; and disappointing boredom on long journeys.

After the initial withdrawal (five days), it went the opposite way: I kept losing and forgetting my phone.

My iPhone has essentially become the Nokia 8110, which indicates to me that 90% of my screen time is dedicated to that one app.

I no longer feel I have to scratch a scrolling itch, and I am no longer thinking about what I could be missing on my news feed.

What do I do with all this extra time? This is where the positive effects of a digital detox begin to show.

My sleep and productivity have already improved

Last year, it was hard to pinpoint if my improved sleep and overall motivation were down to the promised New Year’s resolutions or if they were a direct impact of my social media departure.

For this reason, I stayed offline until mid-February, when the ‘New Year, New Me’ energy had run its course.

According to my Fitbit, during much of my detox, my sleep scores didn’t dip below 85 and often were above 90, showing a marked improvement.

The same trajectory is appearing this time, just 10 days in.

One piece of research found that the more time adolescents spent on screen-based activities, such as social media, the more likely they were to have trouble falling asleep and the less sleep they got during the night.

These negative sleep patterns were also linked with increased symptoms of insomnia and depression.

While I try to exercise throughout the year, I can say without hesitation that I tend to get up earlier and get it out of the way during these online breaks.

Motivation breeds more motivation, and where I would have wasted an hour here and there scrolling, it’s easier to peel myself off the couch to do things I love like cooking, walking, practicing mindfulness, or reading when Instagram isn’t there to distract me.

It’s almost a sad realisation to find that things I love can be swept to the wayside and neglected by an app, but it’s just another example of how tight the grip it has over me is.

However, it’s always an eye-opening and grounding experience that reminds you of what, as Selena says, really matters in life.

I could spout the benefits of being offline all day, I really could! But these two improvements have been reason enough for me to not give in to temptation.

Tips for coming offline

Don’t try to replace one app with another. I did this my first time with Candy Crush and I ended up rivalling my Instagram screen-time. Try to enjoy the peace and quiet.
Create a close friend story with people you chat with regularly on Instagram and tell people you’re leaving for a while. Those who really want to chat with you will find a way. It’s eye-opening in a way.
If you give in at the start, it’s okay. It’s like any other habit, just start again tomorrow.
Before you go back, ask yourself, “Do I even want to?” It’s cool if you do and it’s cool if you don’t.

Most of us use social media out of habit and routine, and often on auto-pilot.

Questioning our social media habits is never a bad thing and there is no correct amount as long as long as it’s working for you!