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19th Jan 2024

‘Am I wrong for not letting my niece be my flower girl at my wedding?’

Anna Martin

Planning a wedding is stressful, to say the least

Venues, dresses, suits, guests and of course picking your wedding party, it’s just a lot to get in order.

So when a bit of family drama arises involving your big day, it can feel like you’re caught between a rock and a hard place like this Reddit user.

Venting about the situation she found herself in, the poster wrote: “I’m getting married next month. My brother and sister-in-law have a 5-year-old daughter, Emma.

“They assumed Emma would automatically be the flower girl in my wedding.

flower girl wedding
Credit: Getty

“The issue is that I have asked my best friend’s six-year-old daughter Hannah to be the flower girl instead. Hannah’s mom is my maid of honor and she is like family to me.

When her brother and sister-in-law found out that their child wouldn’t be in the bridal party they accused the Redditor of choosing friends over family.

Only making it hurt more is they stated that she was breaking her niece’s heart.

“I tried to explain that I’ve known Hannah her whole life too and it’s a sweet full circle moment to have her in the wedding,” the poster continued.

“We have a very special connection that I don’t have like this with Emma, even though I love Emma too. But my brother said I’m a selfish aunt and setting a bad precedent in our family. Now they don’t want Emma involved at all.

“My parents think I should have just let both girls be flower girls to keep the peace. Which I thought was a cool idea and I initially didn’t think of that.”

flower girl wedding
Credit: Getty

Yet even though this sounded like the perfect solution, her brother and sister-in-law didn’t think it was good enough and said their child wouldn’t be at the wedding.

Now the Redditor is wondering if she was wrong for her actions, but most people were on her side.

“They’ve broken their own little girl’s heart by setting up the expectation, and now they’re butt hurt, blaming you,” commented one person.

Another agreed writing: “It’s your wedding and why would they assume you were even having a flower girl, let alone that it would be their daughter?”

“This is your wedding and you can have who you want in it. You came up with a reasonable solution to make them happy and they didn’t accept it. That is on them,” wrote a third.

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