First impressions are key.
We all know that. Whether it’s meeting a new friend, a boss or a work colleague, you always want to be your best self when first meeting someone.
Now, that’s easier said than done and sometimes people can just pick you up the wrong way.
And so, that’s where Robin Dreeke comes in.
Robert is a FBI behavioural expert with more than 27 years of knowledge. He believes that he knows how to get people to like you straight away, and told The Times his five top tips.
1. Ask for opinions without judgement
Robert says: “The number one strategy I constantly keep in the forefront of my mind with everyone I talk to is non-judgmental validation.
“Seek someone else’s thoughts and opinions without judging them.
“People do not want to be judged in any thought or opinion that they have or in any action that they take. It doesn’t mean you agree with [them].”
2. Ditch your ego
“Ego suspension is putting your own needs, wants and opinions aside,” Robert told the publication.
“Consciously ignore your desire to be correct and to correct someone else.
“It’s not allowing yourself to get emotionally hijacked by a situation where you might not agree with someone’s thoughts, opinions or actions.”
3. Listen
“Listening isn’t shutting up. Listening is having nothing to say. There’s a difference there,” he said.
“If you just shut up, it means you’re still thinking about what you wanted to say. You’re just not saying it.
“The second that I think about my response, I’m half listening to what you’re saying because I’m really waiting for the opportunity to tell you my story.
“What you do is this: as soon as you have that story or thought that you want to share, toss it. Consciously tell yourself, ‘I am not going to say it.'”
4. Make them feel at ease
To get someone to open up to you, you need to tell a little white lie in order for them to feel comfortable.
Robert suggests telling a person you’re leaving soon, and then start a conversation. That way they’ll know there’s an end time and feel more comfortable.
“When people think you’re leaving soon, they relax. If you sit down next to someone at a bar and say, ‘Hey, can I buy you a drink?’ their shields go way up.
“It’s ‘Who are you, what do you want, and when are you leaving?’
“That ‘when are you leaving’ is what you’ve got to answer in the first couple of seconds.”
5. Body language
Robert suggests to do these things while talking to someone in order for them to like you more:
- Smile – “A smile is a great way to engender trust.”
- Chin down – you don’t want to be looking down on someone, do you ?
- Maintain an non-confrontational angle
- Palms up rather than palms down – “[This says] I’m hearing what you’re saying. I’m open to what your ideas are.”
- Raise your eyebrows – “Basically anything going up and elevating is very open and comforting.”
Well, there you go. We learn something new everyday, huh?
