First dates can be fun.
They can also be awful and awkward and make you wonder who ever let you outside of your own home in the first place.
A lot of the time though, they can also be daunting – especially if you’re not used to going on them.
Now, I am no dating expert.
I am simply a woman who has embarked on a considerable number of first dates during my time on this earth and I have composed a, shall we say, comprehensive list of things that one must always adhere to before going on one.
This is them.
1. Lurk the shit out of them on social media
No, not in a creepy way – in an informative way.
Look, if you’re going on a first date with someone, chances are you don’t know them very well or, in some cases, at all.
In order to decipher whether or not this person is a sound individual (and not a catfish), it is absolutely paramount to have a little (big) lurk on social media before.
This can be achieved via multiple platforms – whether you go for Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter is your decision but if you really want an accurate representation of a person’s character, I would recommend LinkedIn.
There’s nothing more transparent than a professional network.
2. Change your outfit approximately 47 times
A decent #look can make any date bearable.
It’s for that reason that you need to ensure that even if the date is a total disaster, you at least looked class.
That way, they can go back to their mates and be like: “Man, she looked incredible but also had a chill vibe as if she definitely didn’t spend 87 hours trying to pick out an outfit,” while you can go to your mates and be like: “It was grand.”
Take a few pics for Insta before you head too. Might as well get something decent out of the whole scenario #NewProfilePic.
3. Tell your closest friend/every WhatsApp group you have where and when you’re going
This is not so much a safety must, as it is a bragging must (though your mates knowing your location when you meet up with a stranger is never a bad thing).
Honestly though, did you even go on a date if you didn’t send pictures of your date to everybody you know so they can all see how good looking they are?
You may as well not have done, to be honest.
4. Lurk them on social media some more
They might have updated their profile since you last checked.
5. Mentally prepare a list of conversation topics
There’s nothing worse than an awkward silence on a first date. Nothing.
In order to avoid this, you should consider a list of potential talking points if things go a little dry in the chat department.
Some potential topics include: where they went to school, what their degree is in, whether they get butter or ketchup on a hot chicken roll, their thoughts on abortion, their whereabouts when the Twin Towers fell, the existence of chemtrails, Gerry Adams’ Twitter account, and pets.
6. Accidentally like one of their Instagram pictures from 2012 because you’ve been lurking so much
It happens to the best of us.
7. Glass of wine for good luck
Why not, like?