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15th Mar 2024

‘Am I wrong for not wanting my wife on the deed to new house?’

Anna Martin

deed house

You’d think that buying a house is a team effort right?

At least if you’re one half of a couple you’d like to think you’d be involved in all aspects of the decision.

Yet one man has decided he doesn’t want his wife on the deed to their new house but his reasoning might ease the blow.

Taking to Reddit to explain his logic, he wrote, “My wife and I have been married for three years and have generally kept our finances separate.

“We were both working when we got married although I make significantly more. She stopped working when we had a kid, at which time I set up a joint account funded entirely by me for her to use for her expenses.

“We both owned homes prior to marriage and kept both, we’ve been living in my home and she didn’t want to rent her home out and uses it more or less like a vacation property.”

To buy their new home the couple realised they would have to sell one of their properties and from the get-go, his wife said she didn’t want to sell or invest a lot of money into their new house.

She stated that she contributes enough by staying at home and minding their baby, though it was agreed she could go back to work and they would hire a childminder.

The man continued his story writing, “I told her that I did not expect her to pay half of the down payment since we have a disparity in income, nor do I expect her to contribute to the monthly payments since she is not working, but that if she wants to be on the deed she needs to contribute some reasonable amount of her savings.

“If she wants me to sell my premarital home and pay 100% of the down payment and all of the upkeep on the home while she sits on her cash mountain of investments and contributes 0, then the house needs to be in my name only.”

His wife then accused him of not valuing her as a mother and said that if he wanted things to be fair he had to carry and birth their next baby.

deed house
Credit: Getty

Now the husband is wondering if he was wrong for standing his ground and much to his delight, most of Reddit was on his side.

One person wrote, “She wants to keep her cake and eat yours too. Don’t sell or move out of your house. I would stay put for another two to three years and see how things go relationship-wise.”

Another seemed to agree with this logic penning, “It’s not like she isn’t being appreciated for her work at home or ‘compensated’ if she’s keeping tabs like that. She doesn’t want to sell her home so the new home would be fully funded by you so why shouldn’t your name be the only one on the deed?”

A third commented, “None of what she’s insisting is the kind of thing a spouse says if they plan on staying married.”